The Curse of Immortal Love
by midnightjen
Summary: Buffy left with Spike at the end of season 2. a curse and a vampire who doesn't know the meaning of no have them back in sunnydale with old friends and new enemies.
1. Prologue

disclaimer: unfortunately i don't own buffy, sad but true. maybe if i wish hard enough for xmas i'll get lucky.

a/n:well this story has been bugging me for a while. i've attempted to write it several times until i came up with this. buffy left with spike at the end of season 2 (i know so been done before but what can i say?) unfortunate (or fortunate-depends how you look at it) side affects of a curse and a persistant vampire have them back in sunnydale...

**Prologue**

The package arrived ten days after Buffy's eighteenth birthday. They'd celebrated it even though she wasn't there. They celebrated to remember her and hope that wherever she was, she was alive and well. Joyce appreciated the thought behind it but it didn't make up for the fact that she hadn't seen her daughter in months. They had dinner and then moved to the living room where Willow, Giles and Xander updated her on their attempts to slay in Buffy's place. Sometimes she wished she was out there helping them but mostly she just wished her daughter was home and that she didn't have to think about the things that go bump in the night.

The package was hand delivered by a very nervous looking, floppy skinned demon. Joyce never even got the chance to freak out before the package was shoved into her hands and the demon fled with a cheerful wave. Everything Giles had ever told her was telling her she shouldn't open the package but the open demon delivery had her skeptical. If you were going to deliver a sinister package do it in a less suspicious way. She opened the package.

It was a box roughly the size of a shoe box, wrapped in simple brown paper. There was no return address but the post mark was from somewhere in Germany. She opened it slowly afraid it might be dangerous. What she found was nothing of the sort. The box contained a single envelope and a small black photo album. She opened the envelope first. It contained a single piece of white card with one simple sentence written in black ink.

_She's safe and happy._

Joyce froze for a moment as she reread the words. She dropped the card and reached for the album with shaky hands. She knew what she would find and she was both nervous and excited. With tears forming in her eyes she opened the album. Staring back at her from the first page was Buffy, her daughter looking indeed happy and safe. She was standing in front of a banner that read "happy birthday slayer" and wearing a party hat that said birthday girl. She had a huge smile on her face and was holding up a bottle of vodka. Joyce felt like a weight had been lifted, like for the first time in months she could breathe properly. Buffy was alive and she looked happy. Feeling somewhat relieved she turned the page. There was photo after photo from her birthday party, some of her dancing, some of her sitting at a table with two other women laughing and drinking. After the party photo's came what appeared to be the morning after. There were photos of the two women looking a little worse for ware as they were flopped on a couch. There was one of Buffy lying on her stomach in bed in her pajamas smiling at whoever was taking the photos.

The ones that really got her thinking were the ones showing Buffy smiling and lying in bed next to a bleached blond Joyce recognized. Spike was quite obviously asleep and Buffy was snuggled up in his arms, back pressed against his chest. If the way her lips were in the photo was any indication she was having a conversation with the person behind the camera. Just as she was starting to get worried again for her daughter's safety, she was after all in the company of a vampire who had killed two slayers in his time, she flipped to the last photos in the album. It was just a single photo of Buffy standing on a balcony overlooking a city Joyce didn't recognize but Joyce breathed a huge sigh of relief. Buffy was standing in the sun.

Joyce could feel the tears slipping down her cheeks but for the first time in a long time they were happy tears.


	2. Chapter 1

disclaimer: still don't own it.

a/n: thanks for all the great reviews! i've already written the first six chapters and should be posting twice a week. i hope. hmm time for some background info: season 3 happened pretty much the same with Angel doing most of the grunt work with buffy out of the picture. same goes for the start of season four (roughly), so Oz is gone but Tara is in it (love her too much to leave her out) anything drastic that i've changed you'll find out as the story goes. now that i've got that out of the way...happy reading!

**Chapter 1**

Phone calls from Angel were nothing new. Ever since he'd left for LA he called to check in once a week to make sure they were coping. The insinuation that they were unable to take care of the Hellmouth on their own ruffled a few feathers but they dealt. He called every Friday night like clockwork. So when the phone rang Wednesday afternoon and Giles heard Angel's voice on the line he knew something was wrong. Giles would have appreciated a little more to go on, perhaps something with which they could begin to prepare but all Angel managed to say was that something was happening and he would be there by sundown.

It wasn't much but the fear in his voice was enough for Giles to gather everyone. They ate pizza and waited for Angel to arrive, carrying out falsely cheery conversation to distract from whatever dire news Angel was bringing with him. When Angel finally burst through the door to avoid the last few rays on sunlight they were all on edge expecting the worst. They weren't expecting what Angel had to say.

'Buffy's in danger.'

The silence echoed around the room allowing every indrawn breathe, every slight movement to be heard. No one had any idea what to say to that. Eventually, unable to contain himself, Xander burst out with the one question they were all dying to ask.

'Huh?'

'Cordelia had a vision,' Angel answered, sinking into a chair. 'She saw Buffy being hit by some sort of magic and then she was somewhere different and Buffy was being attacked by a group of vampires.'

'I see.'

Though not unaccustomed to hearing of Cordelia's visions from the Powers this was the first time they knew nothing that could help them stop it. Giles could see the fear on Angel's face. The understanding that Cordelia didn't see these things unless they were important leaving them with the horrible feeling of uselessness.

'Did she see anything that might help us locate Buffy?'

Angel shook his head. In the year and a half she had been gone they had tried every way they could think to track her down, none of which had been successful. After the first five failed attempts Giles and Angel had continued on without informing the others. Neither could stand to see the look on Joyce's face when they once more had to tell her they had failed. This was one time when finding Buffy was actually life or death and they could do nothing.

'We have to do something!' Willow cried. 'We can't just let Buffy die!'

'Cordy must have seen something!' Xander exclaimed.

'Perhaps if you could tell us exactly what she saw we may be able to determine where this attack took place.'

Angel shook his head. He'd already asked Cordy a dozen times if there was anything else she could remember but after the tenth time she'd stopped talking to him.

'All Cordy knows is that the initial magic attack took place in a bathroom, she says that Buffy was sprawled on a tiled floor beside a bath and then the attack by the vampires took place in a cemetery. She didn't see any names on any of the graves and no mausoleums.'

There was a general sinking feeling at that.

'That doesn't tell us anything!' Xander said angrily.

Having remained quiet throughout this exchange Anya looked at Angel thoughtfully before speaking. She chose her words very carefully not wanting to get yelled at or told to be quiet as she so often was.

'How accurate are these visions?' she asked. 'And did Cordelia actually see Buffy die?'

'Anya!' Xander reproached, not wanting to even think about the worst case scenario any longer.

Impatiently Angel turned on her.

'They're accurate,' he growled. 'They show us what will happen unless we stop it.'

'I get that,' Anya rolled her eyes, 'but did she actually see Buffy die?'

Everyone winced but Angel positively glowered.

'She saw Buffy on the ground with bite marks on her throat!' he snarled.

Anya sighed deeply, completely ignoring the looks of horror on the faces of her so-called friends and the disgusted way they were looking at her. She was doing some serious thinking, say Angel was right and Buffy really was in danger, and then they really did need to locate her and warn her, even offer some help if it was needed. Anya wasn't sure it was, Buffy was a slayer, for crying out loud, but she knew Xander would never forgive her if he found out she could help and hadn't. Anya sighed again and coughed loudly to interrupt the worried conversations that had started up around her.

'Say you could contact Buffy what would you tell her?'

Everyone froze and turned to look at Anya. Not noticing the uncertainty in her voice Xander went to make a snappy comment about that not being a problem because they couldn't find Buffy but the words were snatched right out of his mouth when Angel snarled and stalked toward Anya. Getting right up in her face in game face.

'What do you know?' he growled, a deadly edge to his voice.

'Back off vampire!' Anya snapped right back, taking a step forward and surprising Angel. 'If this is as important as you say she will be warned.'

'Ahn?' Xander questioned in surprise.

'You're all stupid, you know,' she said conversationally. 'All this time you've been looking for Buffy in the wrong places.'

'What are you saying, Anya?' Giles asked scrubbing his glasses furiously.

This whole evening had gone to hell and Giles had no idea what Anya was getting at.

Anya rolled her eyes. 'Go to Willy's and find Clem. Tell him you need to get a message to the slayer, that she's in danger of vamp attack.'

'It can't be that simple,' Willow said quietly.

All this time and all they had to do was talk to some guy named Clem? And what was with Anya knowing how to get in contact with Buffy? Realizing she didn't have the answers to these questions but that Anya probably did Willow asked her.

'All this time you've been trying to track down a teenage girl when you should be looking for a slayer,' Anya said simply. 'You were looking in the wrong place.'

'Why didn't you say something?' Xander demanded. 'God, Anya, you've known this whole time how to get in contact and you never said?'

'You never asked!'

She could feel the disapproval and anger coming at her from all sides but she didn't care. It wasn't her fault they had never thought to try asking around the demon bars. She honestly thought it would have been one of the first places Angel tried. She thought it was rather obvious, if you want to find a slayer why not ask the people she hunts if they've heard anything?

Giles leveled her with a cold stare.

'Xander, why don't you take Anya to Willy's and find this Clem. Get a message to Buffy. The rest of us will see what we can find out about this magic Cordelia saw and the vampires after Buffy.'

Everyone nodded and Angel reached for the phone to call Cordy to get specific details. Anya's parting shot before she left with Xander was simple but told them quite a bit.

'The spell is nothing to worry about,' she assured them. 'Worry about the vampires.'

She breezed out the door with a very confused and hurt Xander behind her. They watched her leave and then exchanged looks. None of them really knew what to say or how to take Anya's new attitude. There was one thing they knew.

'So, the spell?'

'The spell,' Giles agreed.

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The ride to Willy's was silent. Anytime Xander tried to ask Anya about what she knew she ignored him. When he started to accuse her of keeping Buffy's location a secret she kindly informed him that she had no clue where Buffy was but the fact that they clearly hadn't tried hard enough to find her wasn't Anya's problem. That shut him up quite nicely.

They found Clem easily enough and while Xander tried not to look disgusted Anya greeted him happily with a hug.

'Anyanka!'

'Hello, Clem, I need a favour.'

'Sure thing, Anya, what do you need?'

They sat down at a table and Clem got Anya a beer. He offered Xander one but he didn't want to drink something from a demon.

'I need you to get a message to Buffy,' Anya said cheerfully. 'Friend of ours had a vision that she's in trouble.'

Clem shook his head. 'No can do, Anya.'

'What? What's going on?'

'Nikolai is back.'

'Well, that's the danger then,' Anya said simply. 'Why can't you get a message to them?'

'Oh I can, I just don't need to.'

'What do you mean?' Xander asked, finally taking an interest in the conversation.

'They're on their way back to Sunnydale.'

'Buffy's coming home?'

'No,' Clem said slowly, like he was talking to someone stupid. 'Buffy's coming back.'


	3. Chapter 2

a/n: so heres the next chapter, buffy makes her first appearance no spike unfortunately but that just builds anticipation. lol. thanks for all the great reviews they're what keeps me going on those long nights when my mum's harping on about my future (or apparent lack there of). enjoy...

**Chapter 2**

Mirroring Angel's earlier dramatic entrance, Xander burst into Giles' apartment with the biggest grin on his face and started babbling incoherently. Feeling like the mother of an overexcited four year old on a sugar high Anya strolled casually into the apartment and calmly translated Xander's babble.

'What Xander is attempting to say is that we spoke to Clem who informed us it was unnecessary to get a message to Buffy as she will be returning to Sunnydale. He also told me all I needed to know about Cordelia's vision.'

'You've figured out the spell?' Willow asked in surprise.

'The spell has nothing to do with this, well that's not strictly true, but that's not the point. You need to be researching a master vampire by the name of Nikolai.'

'Nikolai?' Giles repeated, turning his gaze to Angel. 'Have you heard anything about him?'

Angel shook his head. He was a little less interested in Cordelia's vision now that Anya was back. He was very eager to know why Anya had never bothered to tell anyone she knew how to get in contact with Buffy. Surely Joyce, at least, deserved to know that her daughter was alive and safe. As the last person to see Buffy alive, Angel wished he had of been able to give them more to go on but he was a little busy being stuck in hell to stop Buffy from leaving or even searching for her before she got too far away. That guilt, the guilt of not being here when she first went missing, being unable to help, eased slightly knowing that Anya had known so much more and never shared it with anybody.

'Anya, I want to know whatever you can tell us about this Nikolai. What did Clem say that has you so sure he is responsible for the attack on Buffy? Is he a warlock?'

'Forget about the damn spell!' Anya yelled exasperatedly. 'Nikolai is a vampire hell bent on taking out a slayer who does not belong to him. He will do anything and everything to get to Buffy.'

'What I want to know is how you knew all of this and never thought to tell anyone,' Angel grouched. 'What about Joyce? Don't you think she deserves to know that her daughter is alive and safe?'

'Joyce has been perfectly aware of Buffy's safety for a year now,' Anya responded impatiently. 'Buffy had her reasons for leaving and if she wants to tell you them, then she will on her own time.'

Anya spun on her heel and moved toward the door.

'As you're too busy looking in the wrong place to help Buffy, I'm going to visit Joyce and let her know Buffy is coming back.'

Anya was gone before anyone could protest and Angel had to fight back the urge to punch a wall. The ex-demon was beyond frustrating and her superior tone left Angel with a few desires Angelus would be proud of. While Angel was making his alter-ego proud Giles was actually choosing to listen to Anya. Of all of them she was the only one who had any idea how to get in touch with Buffy and maybe she knew what she was talking about in regards Cordelia's vision. Perhaps it was time they started doing as she suggested.

'Willow, leave the spell research for now. We will focus our attention on Nikolai until we have more to go on.'

More to go on appeared gradually over the next few days. Unfortunately for Giles it had nothing to do with the spell. They were lucky Angel was in town. As they took patrol, keeping an eager eye out for any sign that Buffy had returned, they couldn't help noticing the dramatic increase in not only fledgling vamps but quite a few older vamps seemed to be surfacing on the hellmouth as well. It was a clear sign that a bigger bad was coming to town. However, despite the signs of Nikolai's coming to the hellmouth, they had been unsuccessful in finding more than a mere mention of the vampire in any text. When asked about the lack of references regarding Nikolai, Anya laughed.

'He's about three hundred years old and no one talks about him because he's never been worth mentioning before. Now he's got a yen for the only slayer in history you'd have to be stupid to kill. He's trying to make a name for himself.'

She went back to watching Xander whittling stakes and refused to say more on the matter. She had however raised a few questions Giles desperately wanted answered. He knew she wouldn't say anything, though, she was sticking by her decision to leave the story telling to Buffy should she ever return.

They were on patrol, the whole Scooby gang, when they found her. The sounds of fighting drew them faster into Restfield but they stopped short at the sight before them. Buffy stood surrounded by vampires, at least eight, standing in a circle around her. They weren't fighting but Buffy sure as hell was talking.

'I do not belong to Nikolai and I will not die by his hand!' she growled to the vampires surrounding her. She wrenched the collar of her jacket away to reveal something on her neck. 'I belong to another and if I die it will be at his hands. Tell you're master he has no place here and if he does not leave he will die.'

The vampires didn't move just sneered at her.

'Go!' she snarled.

With one final look at her the vampires fled. Buffy repositioned her collar and turned to face her audience.

'Hi guys.'

She sounded like Buffy, she even looked like Buffy but she was definitely not the Buffy they remembered. She was dressed in jeans and black high heeled boots and wearing a black t-shirt with some slogan written on it in white and quite possibly in Russian. Her jacket was caramel colored leather with a short stiff collar and her hair was shoulder length and lightly curled making it look even shorter. She was definitely Buffy but this version, this Buffy, exuded confidence and power. And some serious sex appeal. She seemed older, wiser and lighter than she had been when they had last seen her dealing with Angelus. There was a light in her eyes. She looked happy.

'Buffy!'

Willow and Xander launched themselves at Buffy in a hug that put her slayer strength to shame. Giles was a bit more dignified, he waited until Willow and Xander had released her before he threw his dignity to the wind and swept her up into a fatherly embrace. Anya was next and this time it was Buffy who did the excited hugging. She threw her arms around Anya and squealed like the teenaged girl she didn't appear to be anymore. Angel didn't get a hug. When he attempted to approach she held up a hand to stop him.

'Angel,' she greeted neutrally, feeling nothing either way. 'We don't hug.'

His eyes flickered with a deep hurt but he understood that after all the things that had happened between them, all the things he'd done as Angelus, they didn't get to fall back into their old relationship. He didn't realize Buffy's reluctance to return his hug had little to do with what had happened when he was Angelus and everything to do with the fact that they had simply never been friends. They'd never had the sort of relationship where a hug was comfortable.

'We're so glad you're back, Buff!' Willow said brightly. 'Where have you been?'

'Let's take this back to Giles',' Xander suggested. 'Then you can tell us everything.'

Buffy and Anya briefly exchanged looks and with a heavy sigh Buffy started off with Anya beside her. She didn't speak a word to anyone but Anya on the walk to Giles' and even then the two were whispering together so as not to be overheard. Just for a moment on the walk over Giles had the fleeting thought that Buffy had changed too much for her friends to handle.


	4. Chapter 3

disclaimer:- i don't own it

a/n: well heres the next chapter, finally get to hear about what Buffy's been doing. still no Spike but he's coming i promise! thanks for all the fabulous reviews and i hope you find this chapter just as good.

**Chapter 3**

She almost regretted coming back to Sunnydale the moment everyone had settled at Giles'. They sat looking at her, eagerly waiting for her to explain where she had been and why she had run away. Really she thought the why was kind of obvious but she could tell that the Watcher in Giles desperately wanted to hear everything so that he could document it. There were lots of things she didn't want to tell them and some she just couldn't. While they sat staring eagerly at her she took in all the changes they had undergone. Giles looked just the same as he always did, perhaps a little tired, the kind that runs bone deep not the kind you can sleep off. Willow seemed to have come into her own, she was dressed more confidently and her hair was way shorter. Then there was Xander, he hadn't changed at all, maybe his wardrobe had taken a dive but he seemed the same to her. Her three oldest friends had a look in their eyes that screamed relief that now she'd returned everything would go back to how it had been before.

It wouldn't.

Angel looked the same, acted the same and still watched her with undisguised adoration. There was a new pain behind his eyes and she new it was the result f his time as Angelus. The only one who had stayed the same, in a good way, was Anya. She was still blunt and enthusiastic. It was a huge relief to Buffy to have someone so familiar on hand when the one person she needed at a time like this was otherwise occupied. There was one girl among the group that Buffy had never met. As if sensing her line of thought the girl smiled shyly.

'I-I'm T-Tara.'

Buffy realized that Tara didn't expect anything from her. Like Anya, Tara hadn't known the Buffy of before, she didn't expect her to return and fix everything. It was refreshing.

'Buffy, maybe you can start with your battle with Angelus.'

Buffy groaned, it wasn't like Angel hadn't been there. Why couldn't he tell the story? Surely he'd already told them what he knew. Then she remembered that he hadn't seemed to know what was going on when his soul was returned. She didn't know if that was permanent or just a temporary side affect of the re-souling.

'Well,' she began hesitantly. 'Spike came to me for a truce, he wanted to help kill Angel and save the world.'

Buffy smiled at something she was remembering and her old friends watched her warily. She seemed to realize that she'd drifted off because she shook her head and continued.

'Anyway, he came back to the house and mum found out about the slaying and we made plans to take down Angel. He went back to the mansion acting all weak and mum kicked me out.'

'Buffy, I'm sure she didn't,' Giles started but Buffy cut him off.

'Yeah she did. I went to the mansion and once I had Angel's attention and he started in on the whole you-think-you-can-stop-me-alone thing and that's when Spike and I started taking out minions. That didn't go down so well, Angel and I started fighting and Dru started to claw the crap out of Spike. Angel got his soul back but it was too late, Acathla was open and I had no choice. I killed Angel and then I left.'

'What about Spike and Drusilla?' Giles asked.

'Dru's dead.'

Giles was astonished. 'You killed Drusilla?'

'No.' Buffy shook her head. 'Spike did.'

Angel burst out laughing. It was actually kind of scary, none of them had ever heard him laugh, and he was always too busy brooding to have a good time. Despite the fear Angel's laughter seemed to naturally instill, Giles felt a similar skepticism.

'Buffy, are you saying Spike killed the woman he had been with for over a century?'

Buffy rolled her eyes; honestly if they knew half the things she did they wouldn't find it all that hard to believe. As it stood she wasn't quite ready to tell them some of the things that made it on to that list.

'Spike. Staked. That. Skanky. Cheating. Ho,' she stated clearly.

'Spike killed Dru?' Angel asked incredulously, like she hadn't just said it twice.

'Trust me. Dru is dead and Spike killed her.'

Not caring one way or the other, and certainly not seeing the strangeness in one soulless monster killing another, Xander moved things along before they could question her further about Dru's death.

'Why did you leave?'

Buffy gave him a look that clearly said "what, are you stupid".

'My mother kicked me out and I'd just sent the guy I loved to hell. Why do you think I left?'

Xander looked chastened and Willow glared at him but it didn't take long for him to get over it and ask his next question. He gave a quick, unapologetic "sorry" and continued on.

'So where did you go?'

Buffy brightened considerably at that, she was actually looking forward to telling them of all the things she'd seen and done, all the places she'd been. She smiled excitedly and drew her legs onto the couch even as her hands started moving to eagerly emphasize her story.

'I went to LA first, spent a couple of days there getting some money and a passport together.'

'The council found no record of you traveling on a passport,' Giles frowned.

'Well I used a different name didn't I?' Buffy spoke like it was obvious. 'I went to London first, spent a few weeks there and then spent a year traveling around Europe. It was incredible! I just went from place to place, wherever I wanted, whenever. I saw France, Holland, Germany. Ooh!' she exclaimed excitedly. 'I totally met Dracula in Romania! And the Gypsies! They were having this festival to celebrate Angel going to hell and we totally got to meet Miss Calendar's family. I spent a week just lying on a beach in Greece.'

Giles figured it would be wise to head her off before she got too involved in her story telling. The comment about Jenny caused his heart to constrict but the thought of her family celebrating Angel's death had the corners of his mouth quirking up in a smile.

'You say you spent only a year traveling Europe?' he asked. 'Where have you been for the last eight months?'

'Oh, we've got this totally awesome apartment in St. Petersburg. I am, or was I guess, working as a self-defense instructor, I work mostly with kids. It's just so great.'

'You're working in St. Petersburg?'

'Uh huh,' Buffy nodded enthusiastically. 'I work in the evening from four til eight and then I go patrolling or check out some local bars. Giles, I'm having fun for the first time since I was called.'

Giles felt guilty for a moment that this young girl had been robbed of a normal life but then he noticed the looks on Xander and Willows faces. They were happy for Buffy, that she was happy, but they were also angry that while she was seeing the world and having fun while they were stuck in Sunnydale fighting to save the world.

'When did you first meet Nikolai?' Angel asked all business. There was something Buffy wasn't saying but he couldn't put his finger on it.

'Bout a year ago.'

'What happened?'

'I was working at this demon bar in Istanbul when we met. He started hitting on me,' she explained with a disgusted shudder. 'He wouldn't take no for an answer. At first he was all "leave your boyfriend we could be so good together" blah, blah, blah. Totally got his ass handed to him, which changed his tune to something more "your boyfriend touches me again and he's dust unless you come with me". Well no one messes with my boyfriend, so I handed his ass to him but before I could stake him one of his boys banged me over the head. That was when he realized I wasn't just some vamp's girlfriend I was the slayer. He made it his goal in life to get me after that.'

It was only once she'd stopped talking that she realized just how much she'd told them. Angel and Giles looked furious. Xander had that "not again" look and Willow seemed eagerly curious. Tara didn't care much as she wasn't really familiar with Buffy. Angel finally realized what had been nagging at him. Buffy's constant use of "we" and her showing Nikolai's vamps her neck earlier. Buffy had not been alone on all of her travels, at some stage she had picked up a boyfriend and not just any boyfriend, a vampire.

'Buffy,' Gilles began but she held up a hand to stop him.

'No, Giles,' she said calmly. 'You don't get to make that decision for me. I made a choice a long time ago and I like the way my life is going now, all because of that choice.'

He didn't look at all happy and Buffy knew that soon they would have to talk about it. And they would talk about it just as soon as everything else had been handled. Nikolai came first, well no he didn't but she wasn't about to explain to Giles that the reason she didn't want to discuss her vampire boyfriend was because he was currently digging his way to invincibility.

Yeah, that could wait.

'Tell us more about Nikolai.'


	5. Chapter 4

disclaimer: still don't own it

a/n: still no spike, he's in the next chapter i promise! in this chapter you get a hint about the curse and its side affects. its stated in black and white in the next one in case your spike withdrawel has you glossing over crazy details.

**Chapter 4**

She'd told them everything she knew about Nikolai but every time she thought they were done Giles seemed to ask another question. Buffy was tired and hungry and more than a little bored. She really just wanted to go back to the apartment she was staying in, get some food and crash. She could tell Anya was feeling the same and to make it worse Xander hadn't even noticed. Giles opened his mouth to start what promised to be an almost unending litany of questions but Buffy had had enough. She shot to her feet before he got the chance.

'No more questions!'

'Buffy?' Angel questioned.

Since the revelation that she was dating yet another vampire Angel was acting like the smallest act of kindness or consideration would have her seeing he was the better vamp. It was driving her just as crazy as Giles' questions.

'No more questions,' she repeated. 'I'm tired, I'm hungry and I am bored out of my freaking mind.'

Buffy refused to feel guilty, even after she caught sight of the offended looks on Willow and Xander's faces.

'We're trying to help,' Willow insisted.

'Fine. You research and I'll go kill something.' She turned to Anya. 'You wanna come? You can crash at our place.'

'Definitely yes,' Anya answered in relief.

While Anya gathered her jacket and kissed Xander goodbye Buffy wrote her new number down for Giles.

'In case you need me,' she explained. 'Otherwise I'll be back tomorrow night.'

Buffy breathed a huge sigh of relief the moment they were outside. Finally it was just her and Anya. She could speak freely without having to edit her stories or her words. Anya had been there for quite a few of the major events over the last two years of Buffy's life. Nothing Buffy said came as a surprise.

'You haven't told them,' Buffy stated, the first to speak in the three blocks since Giles' apartment.

Anya shrugged.

'Do they need to know?'

Buffy nodded in silent understanding, Anya didn't need to say any more for Buffy to understand what she meant.

'You're afraid to tell Xander.'

'Yeah,' Anya agreed. 'I know it can't last but I want it to be good while it does.'

They walked in solemn silence for a few minutes until Anya broke out in a huge grin. She turned to Buffy with a sly smile.

'So, how's the curse going?'

Buffy shrugged off handedly but she couldn't contain her goofy smile. She lifted her t-shirt and turned side on.

'Why don't you tell me?'

Anya quirked an eyebrow and studied Buffy for a moment. Then, her eyes widened and she jumped up and down in girlish excitement. Dropping her t-shirt back into place Buffy joined the excited jumping. Amidst the squealing and hugging Anya managed an excited:

'Congratulations, Buffy.'

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'She's different,' Willow offered somberly.

'She's still Buffy,' Xander said.

Giles sighed heavily and began to clean his glasses. Willow was right, Buffy was different but Giles could see that there was even more to this newer, happier version than they'd been led to believe. From his position against the wall by the kitchen Angel offered his two cents.

'We need to know more about her vampire boyfriend.'

Barely containing an eye roll at Angel's tone, Giles knew he was right. Before he could offer up a suggestion that Angel should check if there was word of any new master vampires in town Tara began to stutter.

'I-I don't think w-we sh-should worry,' she said quietly.

'Why not?' Angel growled, earning three glares for his tone.

'H-her aura i-is b-beautiful. I th-think she i-is safe and loved.'

That may have been enough for Tara and Willow, who trusted her girlfriend's abilities one hundred percent, but it was in no way good enough for Xander and Angel's jealousy or Giles' father-like concern. However Buffy's mysterious vampire boyfriend was not their only problem.

'I suggest we make a list,' Giles announced.

'A list?' Xander repeated incredulously.

How do you go from 'must hunt down evil vampire boyfriend and stake him' to 'lets make a list'? Xander had no clue and he could honestly say the idea of sitting around compiling a list did not appeal. Especially when the other option was to go out and hunt down the dead guy who thought he was worthy of Buffy.

'Yes,' Giles confirmed. 'I suggest we make a list of all the things that need to be dealt with and then divide them up.'

Willow agreed that it was the best way to go about helping Buffy. So for a few minutes they sat in silence thinking of everything they needed to deal with. Giles went over his notes and high lighted what he felt were the most important factors. Eventually Willow broke the silence.

'Nikolai,' she put forward.

'Yes,' Giles nodded. 'I'd say he is our first priority.'

'We need to know if he's here and how many vampires or demons he has working for him,' Angel added.

Giles nodded and added Angel's clarification to the list. Or what would be a list once it stopped being a piece of paper with the name Nikolai written on it.

'I know Anya says its nothing but the curse should be on there.'

Tara shook her head slightly at Willow's suggestion.

'She d-doesn't show any signs o-of dark m-magic.'

'That may be so but Willow is correct, we should look more into it.'

Giles words seemed final and Tara was too shy to stand up to him. Maybe she could find a way to talk alone with Anya later.

'We need to find out about any new vampires or demons with big bad complexes in town.'

'Limit your search to master vampires,' Giles instructed. 'There has already been a huge increase in fledglings and minions.'

'Giles is right,' said Angel. 'Whoever put that bite on Buffy was not some fledgling and despite what Anya said Nikolai is a master vampire. There won't be too many of those in town at the moment, especially with the Initiative running around.'

'The Initiative,' Tara said quietly.

Giles smiled at the brilliant, shy girl. With Buffy around something could finally be done about the stupid government program that was causing no end of trouble.

'I would like to know the name Buffy traveled under.' Giles added that to his list. 'Perhaps it will help us understand what she has been through if the council were able to map her movements of the last twenty months.'

'What I want to know is when did she meet Anya?'

Giles frowned at Xander over the top of his glasses.

'Surely that is something you can ask Anya yourself.'

Xander smiled sheepishly.

'Joyce,' Angel interrupted suddenly. 'We need to warn Joyce that Buffy's boyfriend is not to be trusted.'

'Quite right.'

After reading thought the list and checking through his notes Giles felt he was ready to start dictating tasks. Xander and Angel would check the local demon haunts for any news of recent vampire and demon arrivals. Willow would continue to research Nikolai and as Tara seemed to know more about the curse it would be her job to research it. Tara felt there was no point in making Giles aware that she was as in the dark at he was.

'I will visit Joyce,' he said lastly. 'Then I'll see if I can find a record of Buffy's work as a self defense instructor in St Petersburg.'

Satisfied with their tasks they set about tidying up Giles' apartment and sorting out which books they would need to research Nikolai and which ones Tara would need to begin her search for the curse.

'I kind of feel sorry for Buffy,' Willow admitted as she settled in behind a large pile of dusty books. 'All she wants to do is be a normal girl and this vampire won't stop following her.'

'Still,' Xander said, 'could be worse.'

As soon as he said it, he knew it was stupid. And when the phone rang he knew that he should really look into stitching his lips closed. Whoever was on the phone was bound to have some bad news. He just underestimated how bad it could be. Giles spoke for a few moments before hanging up the phone and turning to the occupants of his living room.

'It's Faith,' he said. 'She's awake.'


	6. Chapter 5

disclaimer: nothing is mine but the plot

a/n: Spike! its spike! finally some spike. thanks for all the great reviews and hope hope this chapter inspires more. enjoy.

**Chapter 5**

He was so close he could feel it. It was like a hum just beneath his skin calling to him. The Gem of Amara. Just a few more hours digging and it would be his. He would be invincible. He would be able to walk in the sun. Alone in the cave all he had to do was think. He thought about what he was going to do once he had the Gem and why he was looking for it in the first place. Buffy. The Slayer. Not just any slayer _his_ slayer. She was the reason he was back on the hellmouth, the one place he swore he would never go back to.

The place was nothing but bad memories. Memories of his dark princess, memories of his time spent in a wheelchair watching Dru with Angelus. Then again if he had never come to Sunnydale he never would have met the slayer. That was definitely worth all the pain this town had given him. Without the hellmouth he never would have found his girl, never would have spent over a year loved like he had never been loved before. Two years traveling around drinking, shagging and killing. Sod the bad memories, it was definitely worth it.

Buffy.

She was the reason he came back. He knew one day he would probably be dragged back, slayer would want to see her mum again. He was really hoping it was years from now and he could have convinced her it would simply be easier to fly her mum to them. No such luck of course. Then again, they weren't exactly prepared for Nikolai to get it in his head that the slayer belonged to him. Or that a demon witch would curse them with _amour immortel_. Or that said curse would have such unexpected side affects that had him desperately wanting to be able to walk in the sun.

Despite the unexpected side affects unlife was good. He had his girl, he had a life, and he had love.

He broke through into the tomb of Amara.

Yeah unlife was really good.

Spike pulled himself up into the tomb and took a good look around. The place was filled with jewelry and other valuables that Spike was already planning to sell. He had big plans for the money, really big plans. But first he had to find the Gem. He picked through the treasure and after one mistake, a truly hideous necklace and a burn later, he was sliding the ring onto his finger. He didn't feel any different but he knew (checked again with the cross to be sure) that he had finally found what he had come back to Sunnydale for. He couldn't help the giddy laugh that escaped him.

He gathered together the smaller, pricier items as a sample and then headed out into the early morning. It was still a few hours until dawn. He could head home, catch some sleep and then spend the day in the sun with his girl.

Unlife was really, really good.

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She'd been asleep barely an hour when the phone rang. She already knew who was calling but that didn't mean she wanted to answer the phone. People don't phone at five in the morning for good things. She and Anya had patrolled a few cemeteries, killed five of Nikolai's men, and then passed out just minutes after they got to the apartment. She was not happy about being woken so soon. Reaching for the phone she realized her movement was being impaired by a pair of strong pale arms. Spike must have got in just after them.

'Yes, Giles?' she asked.

It was way too early for anything as polite as a hello. She listened quietly as Giles informed her of the new situation, a rogue slayer, and asked that as soon as she was able if she could return to his apartment. Apparently these people had forgotten the meaning of a good sleep.

'Yeah, Giles, I'll be there in a few hours.'

She hung up and snuggled back into Spike's chest. A few more hours of sleep couldn't hurt. After all taking on a rogue slayer required her to be top of her game.

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Giles placed the handset back on its cradle and turned to Willow who had been attempting to get his attention ever since Buffy picked up. She was wide eyed and had lost all signs of her tiredness in her alarm.

'Yes, Willow, what is it?'

Willow looked at him over the top of her laptop and gave him a confused and hesitant look. It was too early for meaningful look interpretation so he simply waved a hand at her to carry on.

'Well I thought I'd take a break from researching Nikolai to help you locate Buffy's self defense school in St Petersburg.'

She seemed to be waiting for his encouragement; again he was too tired to play games.

'And what did you find?' he asked, removing his glasses and rubbing a tired hand over his face.

'Buffy runs and owns a small school for self defense under the name Elizabeth Pratt. She's doing really well,' Willow said with some pride. 'She has two instructors working with her and her partner.'

Again she stopped. By this point she had everyone's attention, even Xander, who had been about to fall asleep in an old pizza box, was staring at her. Giles was feeling the distinct urge to strangle her for dragging this out.

'Her partner?' Tara prompted.

'Yes, yes. She and her partner, I'm assuming he's her vampire, they run the place but that's not what I find weird.'

'Willow,' Giles growled, doing a wonderful impression of Angel.

'Uh, the school has a website and there's this announcement board.'

'C'mon Will's, its way too early for this,' Xander griped.

Willow shot him a look but then began to read the announcement that had her so in a fuddle out loud.

'It says "We are happy to announce that Buffy is three months pregnant".'

Silence.

More silence.

Uncomfortable silence.

And then Angel broke out into a huge relieved smile. The others looked at him strangely and he felt he should probably explain before they started attacking him with crosses and holy water and calling him Angelus. As a side note he thought maybe he should look into smiling more often so that when he did no one thought he'd become his psycho mass-murdering alter ego.

'Vampires can't have children!'

More blank looks.

'If she's pregnant then she's not with that vampire anymore!'

And then comprehension dawned. Relieved smiles broke out on Giles and Xander's faces. Willow was too busy looking at Tara to be too relieved, her girlfriend was looking very skeptical. Willow was willing to bet she wasn't to sure about this particular vampire's sterility. Willow started to waver, they lived on a hellmouth where practically anything was possible, who's to say that certain circumstances, maybe a prophecy, couldn't give a vampire the ability to have children?

'Maybe we should wait for Buffy to tell us when she's ready?' Willow suggested.

'Yes, you're right, Willow, we should allow Buffy to tell us when she is ready.'

Willow sighed in relief. She would much prefer to hear the full story from Buffy before jumping to any conclusions. Tara was right, Buffy was happy and if that was because of a vampire who was she to say otherwise?

'I-I think m-maybe we should get s-some sleep,' Tara suggested.

'I second that!' Xander said eagerly.

Giles sighed; there was no use in trying to continue working. If and when Faith showed herself they would need to be well rested, or rested enough, to deal with her.

'Very well, we will meet back here at nine.'

It wasn't until they were back at their dorm that Willow asked Tara what she thought about Buffy's apparent pregnancy.

'I t-think Mr Giles and A-Angel don't want to see what's r-right in front of them.'


	7. Chapter 6

disclaimer: i don't own buffy, sad but true

**Chapter 6**

Buffy was surprised to find she was the first one to Giles' that morning. She figured after waking Anya and sending her home, showering, shower fun, bedroom fun and breakfast she would definitely be running late. She greeted Giles brightly; sleep and sex will do wonders for your attitude, and slumped down on the couch. At first she didn't notice Giles watching her strangely but when she started to feel a prickling on the back of her neck she looked up from the book she was flicking through to look at him questioningly.

'What?'

Giles had spent a good part of his three hours of sleep thinking about Buffy being pregnant. His dreams and thoughts had started out simple enough but after a few hours he stated to get concerned. Angel was right, of course, vampires couldn't have children, they were dead. Unfortunately sometime between his disappointment at his teenaged slayer getting pregnant and his near elation that she had settled down with someone human doubt started to creep in. She still sported the marks of a vampire and that sort of thing was permanent, he couldn't picture the vampire that did that to her just letting her go.

No, there was more to this than they realized and that had led to a rather restless sleep. However, as Willow had pointed out, it would be best for them to wait until Buffy was ready to tell them everything. As it was she hadn't been very forthcoming about her personal life, they would need to be patient. Staring at her, gawking at her like she was some form of science project was not conducive to this.

'Sorry.' Giles shook his head to clear it. 'I'm just so glad to know that you're alright.'

'Yep, that's me, alright Buffy.'

They spent the rest of the time waiting for the Scooby's discussing some of the places she had been in greater detail. Giles was surprised at some of the places she had been to. Frequently she had seen a side to a city or country he had not been fortunate enough, or stupid enough, to see. Being the slayer had its advantages and Giles found himself becoming the student as Buffy told him about all the different demon cultures she'd come across in her travels. She was just telling him about the half human-half Bracken demon girl and her demon witch grandmother from Istanbul when the others arrived.

'You must finish telling me about these demons,' Giles told her.

'Demons? There are demons now?' Xander demanded. 'I come bringing doughnuts and sugary goodness.'

He dropped the box onto the coffee table and helped himself to a jelly filled.

'So what's this about a demon?' Willow asked.

'Buffy was just telling me about a demon witch she met in Istanbul.'

'Oh you were telling him about the curse?' Anya said brightly, helping herself to a doughnut.

Everyone looked at Anya and then at Buffy who was glaring at an oblivious Anya.

'This demon witch is the one who cursed you?'

Buffy ignored him.

'So what's the deal with this slayer, Faith?' she asked instead.

'Buffy.'

'Giles, I'll tell you all about the curse once we've dealt with the psycho slayer. Why didn't Angel just kill her when things started getting bad?'

Giles chose to ignore her blatant disregard for the life of the slayer and answered her question.

'Angel stabbed Faith in the stomach and put her in a coma.'

'And he didn't finish her off because…'

'Because I'm not a killer.'

Buffy just looked at him. Her look made Angel uncomfortable, as though she knew something the others didn't. There was nothing to know but that didn't mean it didn't put him on edge. After a moment spent staring him down Buffy shrugged.

'Then I guess I'm taking out a slayer.'

'No!' Willow said suddenly.

Everyone turned to look at her, confused by the sharpness of her tone. Willow had just realized that if Buffy was pregnant, and she was pretty damn sure she was, then they really shouldn't be asking her to take out a slayer with serious anger issues. Unfortunately she couldn't just outright tell Buffy they knew so she did the next best thing.

'Buffy, you're a slayer, you don't kill humans. We'll, we'll find another way.'

Anya eyed Willow strangely; she had never been a very good liar. Then again Anya had her own reasons she didn't want Buffy to fight the psycho slayer. They may have been the same but as no one seemed to be sharing information Anya wasn't going to confirm nor deny Buffy's pregnancy.

'What we need,' Anya said slowly, talking directly to Buffy. 'Is a slayer killer.'

Buffy broke out into a huge smile. Anya was a genius. She had just been handed a good reason to bring Spike in on things with minimal ugliness and none of the badness of being found out on someone else's terms. Buffy got to her feet and moved straight for the phone.

'You're a genius Anya!' Buffy smiled brightly. She dialed a number and then turned to her old friends as she waited for Spike to pick up. 'You want to kill a slayer, who better than the slayer of slayers?'

Successfully stunning her friends into silence she smiled brightly when she heard Spike's sleepy greeting.

'How would you like to kill your third slayer?'

The silence on the other end told her she had succeeded in stunning Spike as well.

'Spike? You with me?'

'Yeah, luv, I'm with you.'

'Come to Giles' and I'll have a rogue slayer all ready for you to take down.'

'You're serious?' Spike asked.

'Yep, one more notch on your slayer belt. All free of guilt.'

'I'll be there in fifteen.'

He'd hung up before she remembered that he no longer had to worry about taking the tunnels.

Willow got it first.

'You're dating Spike?!'

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Spike sat staring at the phone for several seconds after he hung up. Buffy had mentioned something about the rogue slayer when she's left but he was far too tired to follow what she was saying. Now she was giving him permission to kill another slayer.

Yeah, like he could ever pass that up.

He was dressed and ready to go before he remembered that he wouldn't need his blanket, didn't need to take the tunnels. He was one hundred percents sun proof. He could walk to the watcher's. This day just kept getting better and better.

He was grinning like an idiot on the way to Giles' apartment and he wasn't sure whether he was grinning more at being in the sun or the look on his grandsires face when he arrived bathed in sunlight. To the poof it would look like he had everything; the girl, the sunshine, a family. Spike was enjoying this way too much.

No matter what he thought on the way over, no matter how often he imagined the look on old Angelus' face, nothing compared to just how sweet the moment really was. He knocked just once before Buffy flung the door open. She took one look at him standing there in the sun and threw her arms around him. She squealed in delight and he twirled her around, unable to contain his laughter. Just the look on his slayers face was enough but the look on Angels and the Scooby's faces was priceless.

'Peaches,' he greeted joyfully, putting Buffy down but not removing his arms from her hips.

'Spike!' Angel spat.

It was only the sunshine bathing his grandchilde that prevented Angel from launching an attack.

a/n: next chapter faith makes an appearance and the scoobies find out a little more about Buffy's life with Spike. thanks for the wonderfull reviews, pls keep them coming.


	8. Chapter 7

a/n: faith makes her first (brief) appearnace, riley (i don't know i hate the guy) shows up and Joyce is a whole new person when Giles isn't around. and we meet someone connected to the curse. enjoy...

**Chapter 7**

She was awake. She was hungry. And she was horny as hell. She may not remember all that time passing but her body sure did. Food first. Then sex and then revenge. She was going to kill that stupid souled vampire and those annoying humans.

It was on her hunt for food and sex that she stopped at Willy's for a drink. She was hiding away in a dark corner when she heard the news that made her blood boil. She was back. Perfect little Buffy Summers, with her perfect little life, was back in Sunnydale. Faith smiled and downed the rest of her drink. It looked like there would be no sex today. She would need to conserve her strength.

She had a slayer to kill.

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Riley Finn was worried. Nothing new there, of course. After all he was a human living on a hellmouth and spending all his nights hunting down HSTs. This was different; he'd never seen such a speedy increase in hostile activity. The increase was more than the Initiative could handle, Riley knew that, he just wasn't stupid enough to tell his superiors. No, there were only a few people capable of handling this situation and they weren't a part of the Initiative.

It was time to pay Rupert Giles a visit.

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Buffy couldn't stop grinning. She really couldn't help it; she was standing in Spikes arms out in the sun. Even the look on Giles' face couldn't wipe her grin away. She tuned out Angel's enraged growling and turned to Anya who had a similar grin on her face. She pushed forward and threw her arms around Buffy and Spike. She gave them a good squeeze before she released them and took a step back.

'You look good in the sun.'

'Thanks, pet.'

Spike grinned. The look on her friend's faces was finally bringing down Buffy's mood.

'Let's take this inside,' she suggested.

She motioned for her friends to enter her ex-watchers apartment and all of them went willingly. It was only when she felt the tug of the barrier pulling Spike from her arms that she realized why they had been so willing to take it inside. Spike had no invite and as long as they stayed inside they would be safe from the slayer of slayers. Buffy had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. If Spike wanted to kill them something as small as the need for an invite was hardly going to stop him.

'Giles invite Spike in.'

Giles snorted. 'Not bloody likely.'

'Giles,' Buffy sighed. 'He's not going to kill you,' she assured him. 'Unless you piss him off,' she amended.

No one realized she was half joking. Of course, Spike _would_ likely kill someone if they pissed him off enough but she was hoping he'd take his anger out on some random someone from a bar and not one of her friends who were likely to kill him in return. Well, at least try.

Giles frowned. Xander looked horrified. Angel was still growling.

'Relax, Giles, I'm kidding.' She smiled reassuringly. 'Mostly.'

Spike grinned as he leaned casually against the barrier. It didn't bother him either way if he was invited in or not. Sure, it would make things easier if he could sit down while he had to listen to the watcher ask question after question about Buffy's sanity. On the other hand no invite meant he could skip out on the questions.

Yeah, like Buffy would let him skip out on that.

With a dramatic sigh Buffy aimed a shrug at Giles. 'You don't invite him in you don't hear about the curse. Your call.'

It was that easy. What self respecting watcher could miss out on an opportunity like that? Not to mention the sudden appearance of Buffy's vampire boyfriend—did it have to be Spike?—was beginning to raise some interesting questions about Buffy's possible pregnancy. In the end he had no choice.

'Come in, Spike.'

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On Main Street a single mother, on her way to drop her son off at his grandmother's, found a small girl huddled on the steps of the Espresso Pump. A Cabbage Patch doll clutched tightly in her arms and sobbing quietly. She approached the girl slowly and smiled gently when the young girl looked up. Her son clutched her hand and stared at the little girl curiously.

'Where's your mommy, sweetheart?'

'Gone,' the young girl sniffled.

The woman smiled encouragingly and crouched down in front of the girl.

'What's your name, sweetheart?'

'Serrah.'

'Where's your mommy, Serrah?'

Serrah sniffed and clutched her doll tighter. She swallowed heavily before answering.

'Heaven.'

The woman's smile faltered slightly, but Serrah had an accent, one she couldn't place, so she assumed she had to have come here with someone.

'Who did you come here with?'

'Grandma,' the girl said quietly. 'She's gone now too.'

The woman had a bad feeling about this but until she had more to go on she wasn't going to frighten the girl by calling the cops.

'Who are you staying with?'

'I'm supposed to go here if anything bad happens.' She held out a scrunched up piece of paper. 'I don't know where that is.'

The woman took the paper and carefully flattened it out. On it was a name and an address. She knew the street. She held out her hand to the girl.

'Come on, Serrah, I'll take you to Joyce.'

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In the two years since Buffy had run away Joyce had learned a lot about the world around her. In the months since Buffy's eighteenth birthday her life had changed a lot more than it had when she had just had knowledge of what really went on. Joyce Summers had somehow become a part of that world. It all started with a floppy skinned demon who delivered a photo album. It had soared rapidly out of control from there. Now, right under Rupert's nose, Joyce had dinner with Clem once a month for updates on Buffy, she had drinks with Anya regularly and her house had become something of a safe haven for good demons who needed a place to be patched up and then sent on their way.

Had she mentioned those drinks with Anya happened at demon bars?

Now her daughter was home and she had Rupert calling and Angel dropping by to ensure she didn't let Buffy's boyfriend in because he was a vampire and likely to kill her. She didn't see the point in letting them know that Spike already had an invite into her home nor the fact that he had for years. Also she thought mentioning Spike would ruin the fun of seeing the looks on their faces when they found out just who Buffy's vampire boyfriend was.

She was on her way out the door to meet Rupert, calling out to her current demon resident—a brown skinned Sevrahk demon by the name of Tilly—that there was fresh coffee if she could handle the stairs when she saw a young woman and two young kids walking up her front path. In the time she'd spent running a sort of hostel for demons she had picked up the ability to tell a demon apart from a human even if there was no physical difference. That's not what stood out about the little girl being led to her front door.

Yes, the girl was a demon but she was also in some of the pictures Spike had sent to her.

'Serrah?' she called out hesitantly, she couldn't understand what the Turkish half breed would be doing in Sunnydale California.

'Gramma Joyce!'

a/n: thanks for all the great reviews! things start moving faster now, everyone comes together in the next chapter and we lose the cryptic crap. thanks god.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

a/n: in this chapter we find out a little more about Tilly (not much) a little more about Serrah (even less) and angel broods like theres no tomorrow (when doesn't he?) urrr the demon name came from my cat standing on the key board, it got a little longer than i intended but i think it works. lol. enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 8**

Joyce's initial reaction was to wonder if she really looked that old. She was way too young to be a grandmother. Her next reaction was a little more in line of the current situation. Why was a strange woman leading Serrah to her doorstep? Where was her grandmother? What the heck was she doing in California?

'Serrah?'

The Turkish half-breed released the strangers hand and ran into Joyce's open arms. True, they had never met in person but Joyce had seen enough pictures, heard enough stories from Anya to know the girl quite well. After all, who wouldn't want to know all about the small girl who had wrapped Spike so thoroughly around her finger and turned him into a glorified babysitter? Whether it was power and knowledge inherited from her grandmother or stories told by Buffy, it didn't matter, Serrah seemed to know Joyce just as well.

'Thank you for bringing her to me,' Joyce gratefully told the young woman.

She smiled. 'I'm just glad she found you.'

With a small wave the woman and her son disappeared. Joyce turned and carried Serrah inside. It looked like a trip to Rupert's was in order. In the kitchen she found Tilly gulping down coffee in between mouthfuls of cereal. She smiled a greeting when she paused for breath.

'How's the leg?' Joyce asked, setting Serrah down on the counter.

'Good as new, I'll be outta here in no time.'

Joyce nodded. 'Could you please do me a favour?'

'Sure thing, Joyce, anything for you.'

'Could you spread the word about a vampire named Nikolai?'

'He the one after your slayer?' Tilly questioned, scratching her slightly pointed ear.

Joyce nodded. 'Anya says he's brought quite a few vampires with him.'

'Sure, I'll do it first thing tonight.'

Joyce began pulling out the ingredients to make pancakes leaving Tilly to study Serrah while she finished her breakfast. Serrah studied her right back, looking perfectly comfortable in a near stranger's house with a demon studying her unblinkingly.

'What's your name kid?'

'Serrah, Serrah Pratt,' she answered holding out her hand.

Tilly grinned at the grown up behaviour of the girl who couldn't have been older than five and shook her hand.

'Tilly Greene.'

Serrah smiled. 'How did you hurt your leg?'

While Joyce made pancakes for Serrah, Tilly told Serrah all about her unfortunate run in with a Leprahaharrgh demon and getting skewered by a claw. Then between mouthfuls of pancakes with syrup Serrah explained how she had gotten to Sunnydale and what happened to her grandmother. When she was done Joyce helped her down off the stool and announced it was time they were getting to Rupert's.

'Can Tilly come?'

A smile tugged at Joyce's lips. The idea of Rupert finding out just what she had been up to over the last year was a surprisingly appealing one. Especially now that Buffy was back and would soon be flaunting her relationship with a deadly vampire in his face.

'That's up to Tilly,' Joyce replied with a smile. 'You're more than welcome to come,' she added to Tilly.

Tilly wasn't stupid, she could read the look on Joyce's face, see the slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. The only thing holding her back from going was that she was a demon and would be entering the home of a watcher, Scooby central. Then again, seeing the look on the old man's face, not to mention the souled one's, when they found out about Joyce's extracurricular activities was highly appealing.

'I'm there.'

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Of all the things Angel had been expecting, all the fears that had surfaced when Cordelia had her vision, none, not one, compared to what was happening before his eyes. His bastard of a grandchilde had everything he had ever wanted. He had Buffy and he had the sun. Angel didn't know what hurt more. He'd been preparing himself for his eventual introduction to Buffy's vampire boyfriend but the news about her being pregnant had made him forget all about it. Now he had to deal all over again with the idea of Buffy dating a vampire with the added horror of said vampire being Spike.

He wanted to yell, he wanted to scream. Most of all he wanted to rip Spike off the couch and beat him to within an inch of his unlife and then stake him with a very large splinter. But he couldn't quite bring himself to do it and he wasn't sure it had everything to do with Buffy. Okay it did but she looked so happy. They were sitting on the couch twined together like any other young couple, like he had seen Xander and Anya do a dozen times before, and she was smiling. Really smiling. Spike had an arm draped across her shoulders and was stroking her hair gently.

Spike looked happy.

It might actually have been seeing Spike look happy that had the greatest impact on Angel. He watched for twenty years as Spike loved and adored Drusilla, watched for months as he pined for his dark princess while Angelus pounded into her against any available hard surface. He'd only ever seen Spike that happy once, the night he killed his first slayer. The part of Angel that felt guilty for creating Dru and subsequently robbing William of his life was struggling to let things be. But these days Angelus was a lot closer to the surface. He would beat Spike the first chance he got.

Idly, as he watched Buffy smile lovingly at Spike, Angel wondered how Spike had achieved the miracle of walking in the sun. For one ridiculous moment he considered the possibility that Spike had somehow become human again. That thought made him feel slightly better about Buffy loving him but he knew as soon as the thought crossed his mind it wasn't true. At least Spike being human would explain the baby.

A light bulb went off in Angel's head, a perfect way to goad Spike, get him to lash out and show Buffy his true nature. Spike couldn't have children and if there was one thing Spike hated it was infidelity.

'Buffy,' Angel began in what he thought was a sweet tone but was in fact mildly condescending. 'Willow found your website. Congratulations on your baby.'

He smiled in satisfaction when Spike choked. He smiled innocently at Buffy but he could barely conceal his glee at undermining her relationship with Spike.

'Thank you, Angel,' Buffy said eyes wide in a deer-in-the-headlights kind of way.

Angel smiled, proud to be the first to offer congratulations. Spike burst out laughing.

'What are you laughing at, fang face?' Xander snapped.

Spike just continued to laugh.

'Oh Spike is laughing because Angel thinks that Buffy cheated on Spike,' Anya said bluntly. 'She didn't,' she added for clarification.

Angel stopped smiling. Spike finally stopped laughing. Tara caught Anya's eye and smiled knowingly. Anya filed that away to make sure that Tara and Buffy got properly acquainted. Willow, Xander and Giles just looked between Spike and Buffy blankly.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

'It all started with a curse, maybe you've heard of it?' she paused for dramatic affect, knowing that if anyone in the room had in fact heard of it they would have one hell of a reaction. 'The French call it amour immortel.'

Angel fell over.

a/n: thaks for all the wonderful reviews you support means a lot to me. next chapter we learn all about the curse and joyce and buffy reunite.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

a/n: finally we get some explanations about the curse. also i've posted a companion piece and am planning to post two or three more that give a little insight into what everyone has been up to in the last two years. enjoy this chapter and i hope you check out my companion piece love cursed eternal. once again thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter 9**

Angel fell over.

He was so stunned he didn't even attempt to stop his fall. Just went from casually leaning against the wall to lying flat on his face on the floor. It was most definitely not his finest moment but he felt that Buffy's little revelation was worthy of such a reaction. Buffy was lost to him. Buffy was so lost to him that he was a century or two behind her and six dimensions away. He couldn't even beat up Spike to make him feel better. For the first time in a very, very long time Angel wished he was Angelus.

Unlike Angel, Giles didn't fall over. He broke his glasses. Snapped them clean in half at the news. He mouthed wordlessly unable to come up with anything suitable to say. Really there was nothing he could say, this was just, just, unprecedented. He fell gracefully into a chair putting Angel to shame and gaped open mouthed at his slayer. He needed to sit down. He needed a drink. He needed to write this down.

For Xander, who had no idea what amour immortel was, he just looked at Angel with amusement, Giles with amusement and Buffy with a big fat blank I-know-nothing-about-anything look. Willow similarly had no idea what was going on, she just continued to look from Buffy to Angel to Giles and back again. No one even seemed to notice Tara. But Anya sure did because she had never seen the soft spoken witch look so triumphant and…and awed. Yes, Anya definitely needed to invite Tara to go with her to Buffy and Spike's apartment one day.

After what seemed like the most awkward and painful few minutes of their lives Giles spoke.

'Bloody hell!'

'Okay, now I know I'm missing something!' Xander said. 'Giles swore.'

'Buffy,' Giles choked, 'you can't be serious!'

'I am Giles, so very serious. That vision Cody had was of me being cursed, I don't know why she didn't see it happen to Spike as well.'

'What is it?' Willow asked.

'It is a spell that binds together two individuals,' Giles answered. 'Essentially it is a way to be connected beyond marriage to the one you love.'

'Oh.' Willow's oh left it perfectly clear she wasn't quite following.

'Why did you do this? What on earth would possess you to tie yourself to a vampire, to Spike in such a way?'

Buffy was silent for a moment deciding just how to go about explaining it to Giles. She could just brush it off as the fault of an elderly demon witch and make out like it wasn't anything she wanted. That road would lead to Giles doing everything he could to break the curse. Or she could tell them the whole story, she could tell them about the events leading up to the curse and how it had become a blessing. She would tell them the whole story, if not for Giles then for herself.

'For so long Spike was all I had.'

As openers it could have been better as this one immediately made Angel think that Spike had taken advantage of his position as the only familiar person in her life. Giles was thinking the same thing but for once in his life Xander was thinking before he spoke. He was watching Anya and the way she smiled brightly at every mention of the curse. He loved Buffy but Anya was his everything, he would trust her judgment. For now at least. So he sat quietly and listened to Buffy tell them all about her relationship with Spike. And unknowingly making it just that bit easier for the day when Anya came clean.

'I spent two months traveling with only Spike for company,' Buffy began. 'He was all I had and I was all he had. Anyway about two months in Spike told me he loved me and I completely flipped out.'

Spike snorted, he thought completely flipping out was a minor understatement.

'After that things got really weird between us and we started to drift apart. We still spent every day together but we were talking less and less and I missed him. God, I missed him so much and it didn't take me long to figure out the reason. I was absolutely one hundred percent, head over heels, in love with him too.' She paused to flash Spike a huge smile and he smirked at her. 'Anyway, it was months after that when we were in this practically none existent town just over the border in Romania when we started talking about claiming.'

That was when they lost Angel. Up until that point he'd been perfectly willing to blame their relationship on just about anything from convenience to unfortunate side affects of the curse but this, a claim, was more than his small vampire brain could handle.

'Claiming? You actually discussed claims?'

Buffy could see where he was coming from, they had been together, sort of, for two years and they had never, never, discussed claiming. Before Spike she never even knew just what a big deal it was. A two year relationship with Angel, the apparent torture of sending the "love of her life" to hell, had been nothing worthy of even mentioning the idea of a claim in the future but a whole five months with Spike, only two of which involved any form of actual dating, and they were discussing it.

'What is a claim?' Xander asked, he wanted to make sure he had all the facts before he acted. Unusual for him, true, but anytime he began to form a negative thought Anya nudged him.

'It's a vampire thing,' Anya explained helpfully. 'It's a form of marriage only stronger. It involves the ritual exchanging of blood and words of promise.'

Xander looked at her blankly. Anya elaborated to make it easy for him.

'Spike bites Buffy and after drinking some of her blood says something like 'mine' and then Buffy responds by saying something in kind like 'yours'. A proper vampire mating ritual would require Buffy to bite Spike and return the claim.'

'Oh.'

Xander found the whole thing kind of gross, the idea of exchanging blood didn't exactly get his blood flowing. But hey vampires and blood, he got it.

'It's permanent,' Angel said gruffly. 'A claim can't be undone except through death and even then the loss usually kills the remaining vampire.'

'Wow,' Willow whispered in awe. 'That is so intense.'

Buffy smiled and grinned at Willow.

'Please continue,' Giles prompted.

Buffy rolled her eyes but continue with her story, only the highlights, they could do without all the sex, travels and drinking.

'We decided that a mating claim was the next step in our relationship. That was fine and everything until Istanbul and Nikolai came along. His threats on Spike's life started to get more serious and we were planning to leave. Inja, that demon witch I mentioned earlier, took it upon herself to protect us and she did the only thing she could do, she cursed us with amour immortel.'

'Immortal love?' Willow guessed. 'How does that work?'

'They call it a curse because it ties two people together irrevocably. It is the love spell of all love spells made for humans and demons. It's never been used on a vampire and a human before and it's had some interesting side affects.'

Giles leaned forward on his chair. 'What kind of side affects?'

'I can't die,' Buffy said simply. 'I gained Spike's immortality, the only way to kill one of us is beheading or a stake to the heart and if you kill one you kill the other.'

'Fascinating,' Giles murmured scrambling to find a pen and paper to write this down. 'What else?'

'Spikemares.'

'Uh, Spikemares?'

Buffy nodded. 'I've been dreaming about his past, like it was me and I have to tell you some of that is really weird. I had this dream once that Dru and I were doing something I can't even name.' Buffy shuddered.

'What else?'

'Spontaneous bouts of humanity,' Spike supplied.

Giles looked up at him over the rim of his glasses unable to comprehend what he had just said.

'Excuse me?'

'It's really weird,' Buffy nodded. 'His heart just starts randomly beating. In fact we think it was one of these random bouts of humanity that caused another interesting side affect.'

'Oh?'

'Well during one of these human moments we were sort of in the middle of having sex. His heart beats for a minute and I'm all hello just call me mummy.'

The Scooby's looked at her blankly for a moment but then Willow smiled.

'I was right!' Willow said triumphantly and then realized that no one had any idea what she was talking about. She smiled sheepishly. 'Sorry, its just that I knew there had to be something weird involved as soon as we found out Buffy was pregnant. Validation thy name is Willow.' Willow paused for a moment. 'You mean for a minute during sex Spike was alive long enough for his sperm to get all with the fertilizing?'

'Yep,' Buffy confirmed.

'That is so cool.'

'What's so cool?'

Everyone looked up at the sound of the new voice and Buffy froze. None of them had even heard the door open. For the first time in almost two years Buffy came face to face with her mother.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

a/n: okay things are picking up again in this chapter which is dedicated to FiveOfFive for all her help (and the florence nightingale bit) enjoy!

**Chapter 10**

She didn't mean for it to come out that way but seeing her mother for the first time in years sort of threw her and everything she had planned to say just flew right out of her head and she ended up just blurting it out.

'I'm pregnant.'

To say Joyce was surprised was an understatement. To say she was delighted was even more of one. Having resigned herself to the idea that her daughter had tied herself to a vampire, vampires not having the ability to reproduce, Joyce had given up on the idea of ever truly being a grandmother. This, this was really good news and any objections she may have had as the mother of a nineteen year old girl went to hell at the news her baby girl got to have her something normal.

'Buffy that's wonderful!' she smiled.

'Huh?'

Having fully prepared to defend herself, or at the very least, put up with a long winded lecture about safe sex and being too young, her boyfriend was sterile you can't get more safe than that, she was happily surprised by her mothers reaction. Joyce moved forward and embraced her daughter.

'I'm happy for you Buffy and more than a little relieved.'

'Huh?' Buffy said, once again demonstrating her complete inability to comprehend her mother's cheerfulness.

'Oh I can just picture you with a little girl,' Joyce said excitedly, holding Buffy at arm lengths to look at her. 'Your eyes, Spike's cheek bones.'

'What? Huh? Who? Mum?'

Buffy floundered; she simply had no idea what to say. Her mother had thrown all of her expectations out the window, first congratulating her on her pregnancy and then day dreaming about a granddaughter who would have her mother's eyes and her father's cheek bones. Not to mention her casual tossing about of Spike as her baby's daddy. While Buffy mouthed wordlessly at her mother Giles found the words Buffy seemed unable to latch onto.

'You were aware of her relationship with Spike?' he asked incredulously.

Frowning at her daughter's sudden desire to become a mime Joyce turned to Giles and nodded, tossing a quick glance at Spike.

'About a year ago I received a package from Spike telling me Buffy was alive and well,' Joyce replied. 'He's been writing to me once a month ever since.'

'He's what?' both Giles and Buffy asked. 'You never told me that,' Buffy continued, turning accusing eyes on Spike.

'Slipped my mind,' Spike offered.

Giles was not letting this go any easier than Buffy was.

'You mean to tell me that for the past year or so you have been perfectly aware of Buffy's location and who she was with?'

Joyce sighed heavily. It was time to come clean with Rupert, get it all out in the open and sit back and laugh at his expression.

'Yes, Rupert, I've known who my daughter was with though Spike never said where they were. He merely kept me updated on Buffy and made sure I was aware she was alive.'

Giles sputtered and Angel took over for him.

'We could have used those letters, small hints in them, to find her.'

'They didn't want to be found and it wasn't up to me to tell you where they were. It was their decision to make.'

Angel snorted. 'You left your daughter alone with an evil soulless demon!'

'No Angel, I left my daughter alone with the man who loved her,' Joyce corrected. 'Spike cares for Buffy, he watched over her when you tormented her.'

Angel laughed. 'Spike can't love, he's a demon. Demons can't love.'

'Oh please,' came a voice from behind them. 'Just because you don't know how to love doesn't mean the rest of us can't, Angelus.'

One of these days Giles was going to learn to lock his door. At least then they wouldn't be constantly surprised by uninvited guests. Especially when those uninvited guests were of the demon persuasion. Standing in his doorway, glaring at Angel was a tall brown skinned demon, with patches of gold scales and slightly pointed ears wearing a denim mini skirt, black leather boots and a leather jacket. For good measure she growled at Angel and moved further into the room. Trailing behind her and holding a doll was a young girl that several people in the room recognized.

'Serrah?' Buffy gasped. 'Honey what are you doing here?'

Showing the first sign of just what had happened the night before that had left her alone, Serrah sniffed loudly at hurtled across the room into Spike's arms.

'Daddy!'

While Serrah took comfort in Spike's arms Buffy turned her questioning gaze to her mother and the demon girl who had brought Serrah inside.

'What happened? How'd you find her? And who are you?'

Feeling she was in the best position to answer all of Buffy's questions and feeling some what proud that Buffy hadn't gone instantly into slay-now-questions-later mode around Tilly, Joyce responded.

'We don't know what happened exactly,' Joyce answered. 'She didn't want to talk about it.' Joyce turned then to Tilly, pleased to see she had everyone's attention. 'This is Tilly; she's one of my regulars.'

'Regulars?' Giles questioned.

'Yes,' Joyce nodded. 'I run a hospital of sorts for injured demons.'

Anya, who was already perfectly aware of Joyce's role in caring for the injured demons of the nicer variety found it highly amusing to watch the reactions of the Scooby's. They had no idea what to say, right under their noses Joyce had made a greater move to become a part of her daughter's world than either of them had realized. While Giles raved and ranted about the absurdity and the danger of such a ridiculous and risky vocation Buffy felt pure pride. Her mother had taken the initiative and found a way to be close to her daughter that Buffy could stand by. Her mother was out there helping demons who, if injured, had no way to take care of themselves. Buffy's heart swelled.

'Wow,' Buffy grinned. 'I'm so proud!'

Joyce smiled at her daughter; praise for her treatment of demons from the slayer was definitely something.

'So, Tilly, you're a regular, huh?'

Tilly rolled her eyes and Joyce and Anya both laughed.

'I'm accident prone,' she admitted. 'And trouble follows me around. I was Joyce's first patient, now I help out when I can. We don't take vampires usually but we have on occasion, we treat them and toss them out before the sun rises and then disinvite them. Mostly Joyce just takes care of demons that were in the wrong place at the wrong time.'

Giles didn't know what to say, he was furious beyond belief but he also couldn't argue with the fact that Joyce hadn't yet run into trouble with her little business. Thankfully his inability to lock his front door saved him from having to think to heavily on the whole Joyce pulling a Florence Nightingale for the demon community thing. Riley Finn had arrived and that never boded well.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

dislcaimer: i don't own buffy

a/n: i hate riley. the only joy i get from him is when i read about him getting his heart broken or generally being an ass to Buffy and practically handing her to Spike in a lovely riley's-an-ass package. that being said. he is in the fic and in none of those ways. don't ask me how it happened but it did. he's in it merely to help demonstrate the life the scoobies have without buffy and as a brief reminder that season 4 is happening most the same although without buffy. his role is small but he's handy.

**Chapter 11**

Riley Finn was surprised to find so many people gathered at Giles'. Half the people there he didn't even recognize but of all the people there only one held his attention. She was beautiful. Blonde hair, hazel eyes and a happy smile on her face, she was skinny in the face but a little shapelier around the middle. He didn't know who she was and he didn't care, all he knew was that he definitely wanted to spend some time getting to know her. Barely managing to pull his gaze away from the mystery blonde beauty, Riley took a good look around. He couldn't help the scowl that crossed his features when he saw Angel, the souled wonder-vamp. He also couldn't conceal the slight jump he gave at the sight of the brown and gold scaly demon woman. He barely even glanced at the bleached blonde guy sitting on the couch with the little girl.

He had news, but maybe the introductions could come first. Completely oblivious to those around him once more Riley made a beeline for the blonde. Plastering on his Iowa farm boy charm and smile he held out his hand to her.

'Hi, I'm Riley Finn; I'm a friend of Willow's.'

The blonde looked down at his outstretched hand and then up at him with an amused look. With a smile tugging at her lips she took his offered hand and gave it a gentle shake.

'Elizabeth Pratt.'

Riley smiled at her but Willow frowned.

'Riley, this is Buffy, that friend I told you about,' Willow clarified.

Now it was Riley's turn to frown. He remembered all about Willow's friend Buffy, she was supposed to be some sacred warrior who fought demons. And he was pretty sure her name hadn't been Pratt.

'I thought you said her name was Summers?' Riley said frowning at Willow.

'It was,' Buffy answered simply.

She didn't elaborate and Riley felt like he was being left out of the loop. With a tired sigh Giles removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

'Did you need something Riley?'

With one last frown at Buffy, which she didn't see because she was too busy flopping on the couch beside the bleached blonde and the kid, he turned his attention to Giles. All remnants of his happy and what he considered charming smile vanished to be replaced by a serious frown and deep concern.

'I've been noticing a severe increase in Hostile activity that the Initiative just isn't capable of handling. I was wondering if you had any leads, or any news.'

Giles studied him for a moment with an expression Riley couldn't read. Not that he could ever read the older English gentlemen, but this time he probably would have benefited from knowing. Riley waited uncomfortably for Giles to reply, well aware of the other occupants of the rooms. He didn't seem to notice he wasn't the centre of any of their attention bar the redhead, everyone else was far too busy watching the loving and tender scene unfolding behind him on the couch between Serrah, Spike and Buffy. After what seemed like an eternity filled with only the low murmur of the little girl's voice Giles spoke.

'A new big bad has come to the Hellmouth. It's nothing to worry about,' Giles assured him. 'Buffy is perfectly capable of handling the issue.'

Riley looked disbelievingly at Giles, casting quick looks at Buffy.

'In fact, now that Buffy is home I believe it is time we took down the Initiative.'

And that's when it happened.

Buffy frowned and glared at Giles. While it was true, she was perfectly capable of handling Nikolai, Giles' easy dismissal of the issue really pissed her off. It was an easy reminder of why she lived in Russia, with a sexy vampire and ran her own business thousands of miles away from this stupid town. Buffy Summers had become Elizabeth Pratt and it wasn't until that moment, under the easy dismissal of her watcher, she realized just how glad she was that she had followed Spike that night.

When Spike said she was capable of handling some new threat he said it with knowledge of her strength and ability but always with a little concern and an unspoken vow to back her up. When Giles spoke his Watcher training shone through. She wasn't Buffy Summers the girl they had loved and missed. She was the Slayer, the person they needed and took for granted. Still, there was enough of the old Buffy in her to put it off and deal with it later. After all, they had a big bad to kill.

'You're right Giles, I can handle it. And I'm going to do it my way.'

She smiled sweetly at Riley who gave a smitten one back at her and took control. The sooner she handled Nikolai and the Sunnydale drama the sooner she could take her mate and her little demon girl home to her their beautiful three bedroom apartment and their friends, both human and demon, who liked her for who she was not because she could kill them with her bare hands.

'Mum, stay here with Giles and Serrah. Tilly, take Xander, Willow and Tara and check out every major demon haunt for word on Nikolai's minions. Kill what you can and send Angel after those you can't. Spike, I want you to hunt down Faith and kill your third slayer.'

Spike smirked. 'You got it, luv.'

'Anya, you and I are going after Nikolai.'

Everyone had something to say about that but when she reminded them that she was the slayer and this is what they wanted her to do, take charge and fix the problem, they followed her instructions with minimal complaint.

'And as for the Initiative, it's your problem. This isn't my town anymore and I thought you had everything under control. I have a life in Russia that I love and really want to get back to. I have a husband and we have a little girl who depends on us. And I'm pregnant, Giles. Its time you stand on your own feet.'

The apartment fell into awkward silence. Half the people there felt Buffy had a valid point and the other half were disappointed. Though of those who were feeling disappointed, Riley and Angel were the ones lamenting Buffy's marital status. Buffy didn't care, she'd said her piece and now she was going to deal with Nikolai and his inability to let go.

'Spike when you're done come find me.'

With that she turned and walked out of the apartment without a backward glance. After exchanging a quick look with Spike Anya hurried out after her. That was when Spike stood up and spoke out for the first time since he'd come in with Buffy.

'You don't see her,' he told them simply. 'And you're gonna lose her.'

And then he left. He had himself a slayer to kill


	13. Chapter 12

a/n: sorry! i've been crazy distracted this week so sorry for the late post. i'm hoping to get the next chapter up tomorrow and then there won't be anything next week cause i'll be without internet. i don't know how i'm gonna cope. anyhoo...enoy this chapter!

**Chapter 12**

'He won her in a poker game.'

Giles, who had been staring at Serrah as she flicked through one of the demon texts he had left on the table, started and looked toward Joyce. He had almost forgotten she was there. Though how he could forget her when he had just been informed of her demon related past time was a wonder.

'Pardon?'

Joyce smiled; she knew Giles was struggling to keep up with everything he had learned. First he had seen Spike act like any other man in love, and then he had met Tilly and learnt about her little medical service and finally seeing Serrah and how very human she appeared. Poor Giles' Watcher education wasn't enough to handle this.

'Spike, he won Serrah in a poker game.'

Giles gaped at her for a moment, not fully understanding what she had just said. Joyce laughed at his gob smacked expression.

'H-how? What?'

'Her mother was a c'Kirah demon but her father was human. After her mother died he couldn't handle it. He got seriously in debt and put her up in the game to cover his losses. Spike won and Serrah's father just handed her over with a diaper bag and ran.'

'That's horrible. To think that a human could do that.'

Joyce felt a little proud of Rupert in that moment.

'Exactly, Rupert, a human abandoned his baby daughter as a loss in a poker game and a soulless demon took her in and tracked down her only remaining family.'

Giles studied Serrah once more and thought about everything he had learnt since Buffy had returned, all the different ways his world had been quite effectively turned on its head. Maybe it was time he rethought his whole way of thinking. After all these years of living on the hellmouth it was about time he realized that the world wasn't as black and white as he was taught to believe.

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Tilly rolled her eyes for what felt like the millionth time. Xander refused to stop shooting her suspicious looks and it was driving her mad. Surely if she were planning on killing him or hurting him she would have done it by now. She wondered if he knew just how hypocritical he was being looking at her like that. They were still a good ten minutes from their first stop—Willy's—when she decided she'd had enough and turned on him. She couldn't help the giggle that escaped her at the way the three humans flinched.

'I'm not going to hurt you, you know.'

'That's just it,' Xander said. 'We don't know.'

'I'm not a killer, idiot; if I was you sure as hell wouldn't be walking. Do you know how annoying you are?'

'Hey!' Willow protested, jumping to her oldest friend's defense.

'Oh please!' Tilly rolled her eyes again. 'I'm here to help because Joyce's only daughter needs help. I'm a good demon, or as good as I can be. I don't want to hurt you, I don't even know you! I'm here because Anya is my friend and Joyce takes good care of me.'

'You know Anya?'

'Of course I know Anya.' Tilly studied him for a moment and couldn't believe what she saw. 'You don't get it do you? Your girlfriends a demon, Xander, she's gonna have demon friends. If the girl you've loved for three years, the girl you were in love with for two of those years, is okay with some demons why the hell can't you be?'

'Anya's not a demon anymore, she's human, she's has a soul!' Xander informed her, like that made all the difference in the world.

'Oh like that makes a difference!'

Tilly couldn't believe how close minded these people were. She just wanted to take something heavy and possibly book shaped and belt them over the head until she destroyed all the demons-bad-people-good crap. Though they would probably not see it that way and assume she was trying to kill them.

'Think about it,' she suggested, in a way that wasn't a suggestion but an order. 'Angel has a soul and he's all brooding, woe-is-me, striving for redemption but the second he feels true happiness its all kill, maim, destroy. Spike has no soul and he's still all about the Buffy love. He doesn't kill humans unless he has to, he loves and supports a six year old c'Kirah demon that was abandoned by her HUMAN father and he writes letters to the slayer's mother so that she knows her daughter is safe. What the hell does that tell you about the purpose and necessity of a soul?'

'I think it shows that Angel is the exception not the rule.'

'Thank you!'

Willow and Xander gaped at Tara, not only was she agreeing with Tilly but she'd managed to get the whole condemning sentence out without stuttering once. Willow didn't know whether to be impressed or disappointed that her girlfriend was taking the side of a demon. And then she remembered everything she had learnt over the last couple of days and everything she and Tara had discussed. She'd let Xander's views corrupt her own.

'Your right,' she agreed. 'Buffy chose the right vampire, she ended up with the one that would and could love and support her. I'm happy for her.'

'But he's a demon!'

'Xander Harris, you listen to me,' Willow growled. 'Buffy is happy with Spike and I will not let you destroy that. We will support her in whatever she chooses to do and for the love of god think about Anya in all of this!'

Having said her piece Willow stalked off in the direction of Willy's, a somewhat impressed Tilly trailing after her. Tara gave her best impression of a smirk and followed her girlfriend. Xander was left with one thought and for him it was a little confusing. He couldn't argue with what he had seen, the love and affection he had witnessed between Buffy and Spike, but without Anya there constantly jabbing him in the ribs his brain wasn't having the chance to work through it and his old prejudices were springing to the forefront.

'Why did it have to be Spike?' Xander shouted to the sky.

He didn't get an answer but he did trip and fall face first onto the pavement. Most people would see that as answer enough.

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Proving just how predictable he was, Angel didn't follow broodingly after Xander and the scoobies. Rather he stalked "protectively" after Buffy. It was the first opportunity he had to speak with her away from Spike and he sure as hell wasn't going to waste it following around a bunch of demon hating humans and a demon. Angel was doing his best to go unnoticed until the perfect time to confront Buffy made itself known but he didn't factor in just how much Buffy had changed since she'd sent his newly souled self to hell.

'Angel, once I might have found the whole stalking thing sweet but now it just shows how incapable you are of simple human interaction,' Buffy growled at the shadow that was Angel. 'People don't like being stalked.'

Angel sulked out of the shadows and Buffy exchanged exasperated looks with Anya.

'I wasn't stalking you,' Angel protested weakly. And then his whole demeanor changed and he looked at her with wounded puppy eyes that she found rather pathetic. 'I want to help you, Buffy. Tell me how to break the spell so I can protect you from Spike.'

Anya burst out laughing while Buffy looked at Angel in disgust.

'You should have stayed dead,' she snarled.

Angel looked at her in confusion, searching for some sign of his Buffy. There wasn't one, he didn't know this person but whoever she was she wasn't the Buffy he had known.

'He's done something to you, made you feel this way,' Angel insisted.

'I feel loved Angel; I don't imagine you know what that feels like. Even with a soul you don't know what love is, all you ever saw was an image, what you thought I should be. That's not love Angel that's a fantasy. And this is one fantasy that is quite happy to kill you should you threaten it.'

'Leave them alone Angel,' Anya advised. 'She's not your innocent little girl anymore.'

Angel looked as though he wanted to object, shout, yell, maybe even jump up and down but he didn't. Mostly because when he started to speak Anya punched him on the nose and then Buffy started to sway drunkenly. Her eyes glazed over and she licked her lips. With words that sounded suspiciously like Dru's from a century before she spoke.

'My Spike just killed himself a slayer.'

a/n 2: next up spike vs faith


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

a/n: okey doke heres the chapter you've been waiting for. spike vs faith. i won't be posting next week but hopefully this will keep you entertained. thanks for all the wonderful reviews! enjoy!

**Chapter 13**

Finding Faith was ridiculously easy. All he had to do was follow the trail of demon corpses. It seemed slayer number two was trying to work off some pent up frustrations. Spike could relate. If he were any other demon he might feel a twinge of regret that his third slayer was gonna feel every one of his issues with Peaches and his girl's friends. But he wasn't any other demon and he was kind of looking forward to taking out his feelings on Faith. He did, after all, have a lot to be pissed about.

Number one on the list was Nikolai. The bastard was going to get a good ass kicking and then hopefully a little torture before Buffy staked him. Numbers two, three and four all revolved around the Watcher, the Scoobies and his poof of a grandsire. Those were a little tougher to deal with but if worse came to worse he could kill them all and suffer the several years of misery that would be Buffy angry at him.

What was really ticking him off was that last night one of Nikolai's men had killed his baby girl's grandmother. Faith was really going to feel that. Overnight, literally, he had gone from sometimes dad/convenient babysitter to full time dad with another kid on the way and way too many bad guys for his liking. Just as he was working up a good deal of anger he heard the sounds of a struggle. He couldn't stop the smirk that appeared on his face. He was gonna kill his third slayer.

He found her squaring off with a vampire, happily enough one of Nikolai's. He leant comfortably against a crypt and studied her technique. It didn't take him long to see that she had nothing on Buffy. Her moves were rough, showing all the signs of the controlled moves taught by the Council but roughened by her desire to stand out and her anger at the world in general. There was evidence in Faith's movements of great potential. Unfortunately for her, she'd been living in Buffy's shadow for so long she'd never had the opportunity to really explore her potential. This was, obviously, a good thing for Spike.

Ever the impatient one, Spike started to get a little bored watching Faith take out her aggression on the vampire. Enough was enough. With a shrug he stepped forward into the fray and staked the vampire.

'That was my kill!' Faith snarled.

She looked him up and down and smirked. Spike rolled his eyes, yeah like that was gonna happen. He tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. He was surprised how long it had taken her to get that gleam of awareness. It took far longer than it should for her to recognize him as a vampire.

'You're kinda sexy for a vampire. Too bad that's not my thing; I guess I'll just have to kill you.'

Spike merely quirked a brow at her. He was more than amused that this slayer thought she was it and a bit. She was cocky, over confident and she just plain didn't understand what it meant to be the slayer. She was too easy to read, poor little girl, no family, no one to love her and just when she's finally given the chance to become someone, to show everybody what she's capable of, she finds herself constantly compared to Buffy.

'You're not gonna kill me,' Spike told her. 'You don't stand a chance with moves like that.'

'I think I can kill one vampire,' she scoffed.

'You probably can,' Spike agreed. 'But can you kill the slayer of slayers?'

Anyone else would have missed it, missed the way Faith flinched, but Spike didn't. He was actually disappointed; he got more of a fight out of Serrah when she wanted something. No, if he wanted a real fight with a slayer he'd have to go home to Buffy. With that depressing thought Spike threw the first punch.

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Riley was feeling a bit neglected. Buffy had given everyone else a job to do and then acted like he didn't exist. Sure he was bummed that she was married and pregnant but he was more bummed that she treated him like he didn't exist. He was part of the Initiative; he was more than capable of handling himself in a fight. Not to mention he had a whole lot of experience fighting demons. So he took things into his own hands, he followed Spike. He didn't exactly want to feel responsible for the death of someone at the hands of a slayer and he knew that no ordinary guy could take out a slayer. What he hadn't realized was that Spike was no ordinary guy. It was the walking in sunshine that threw him off. He was after all sitting on the couch in full view of the sun.

So Riley decided the best thing to do to get on Buffy's good side (he didn't see her husband so maybe he wasn't around anymore) was to make sure her friends stayed alive. So when he came across Spike fighting Faith in full game face he was a little thrown. He'd heard stories about Faith, about the things she did to Willow and the gang but that didn't mean he thought she deserved to die at the hands of a vampire. He rushed towards the fight only stopping when Spike's taunts filtered through his hearing.

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'What's the matter, slayer? Can't handle the Big Bad?' Spike taunted ducking a right hook. 'Buffy has no trouble handling the Big Bad.'

Spike made sure to add a leer to accompany his words. Faith's next blow to his side was a lost harder.

'I am not Buffy!'

'You got that right,' Spike sneered, punching her in the face and watching with glee as her head snapped back.

'She ran, I stayed, and that makes me the better slayer.'

Faith kicked him in the ribs and followed though with a punch to his head.

'No, slayer, that makes you stupid. You got nothing on my girl.'

'Your girl?' Faith sneered, ducking Spikes fist and receiving a kick in the chest.

Spike grinned, he side stepped Faith's fist grabbed her wrist and pulled. Before she knew it she was wrapped tightly in his arms and pinned back against his chest. She struggled to free herself but it was no use. Spike leant forward to whisper in her ear before his fangs descended on her neck.

'You will never be her, slayer, they treated you bad I get that but what you never understood was how to be your own slayer. That is why you'll die.'

A single tear ran down Faith's cheek as Spike sank his fangs into her and drained her dry. Her last thought as her world went black was that at least she'd managed to do one thing right in her life. She went out with a bang at the hands of the world's most famous slayer killer.

William the Bloody had finally killed his third slayer.

And Vi had her first real slayer dream.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

a/n: i'm back home with internet (yay!) phone troubles (gah stupid old sim card) and a new chapter! hope this was worth the wait, i've got the start of another story floating round in my head that was getitng in the way a bit. anyway read on...and feel free to review.

**Chapter 14**

Willy's was a bust. As were half a dozen other places Tilly and the scoobies checked out. Finally, just when they were starting to get a little fed up they stumbled across exactly what they were looking for in what Xander described as a "vampire crack den". Tilly only had to look at the few vampires coming and going from the house to know they had found what they were looking for. The house, once used for your everyday suck jobs, was now far too populated by vampires. They'd found where Nikolai was hiding out. Unfortunately, because of Buffy's inability to move forward into the twenty first century, they didn't have anyway to inform her of what they'd found.

Tilly gave a sigh of frustration. There were too many vampires for them to go in alone; they would have to send for help. It wasn't all that hard to decide on whom to send. Xander was really starting to get on Tilly's nerves with his incessant questioning regarding what he knew about Buffy's life with Spike. In a flash Xander was off on his important mission to find Buffy and/or Spike and the three girls relaxed.

'So tell me about the Buffy you remember,' Tilly asked to pass the time.

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Angel was unnerved to say the least. In his two hundred plus years as a vampire he'd seen some really weird things. He'd seen mating claims in action, seen the way mated vampires were able to communicate on a level completely unknown to most. And in all his years he'd heard rumors, stories, myths even, about humans and demons who were so in love they had attempted amour immortel. Most of those stories spoke of couples who became so spiteful of each other under the curse that they willingly killed themselves. He had never heard anything about a claim as successful between a human and a vampire as the one he was witnessing between the love of his life and his asshole of a grandchilde. Buffy and Spike acted as though the curse, despite not being a decision they had come to, was the best thing that could have happened to them. They showed no sign of it wearing on their nerves or that they had ever even considered attempting to break the curse. And here was Buffy mirroring words Drusilla spoke a century before seemingly aware of Spike's actions when he was miles away. Angel could feel his chances of winning Buffy back and breaking the curse dwindling down to nothing. Still he was seriously stubborn and he wasn't going to give up even if it was obvious to everyone else how in love Buffy and Spike were and how happy Buffy was with the way her life turned out.

'Spike killed Faith?' Angel asked. 'Already?'

'He's just that good,' Buffy snarked. 'And there's the whole slayer death wish thing. That helps.'

'The what?' Angel frowned.

Buffy frowned at him and then answered his question like he was a dumb child. She was seriously beginning to wonder what the hell Angel did when he was parading round as Angelus and pretending like a soul made all the difference. He was supposed to be taking out a slayer and he didn't once ask the slayer of slayer how it was done? Buffy couldn't believe how little Angel thought of Spike, it didn't better him in her opinion one iota.

'Are you seriously telling me you never once asked Spike how to kill a slayer?'

'Like he could tell me anything I hadn't already figured out,' Angel scoffed.

Anya snorted. 'Yes, because you have killed so many more slayers than Spike. Hell, Dru killed a slayer!'

Angel glared at her for questioning his ability to kill slayers. He didn't consider, for even a second, that she was right. There was no way he would ever think of Spike as being better at something. It just wasn't right. He taught Spike everything he knew, and his soft grandchilde, the one the Judge had deemed too full of humanity, appeared the bigger evil to slayers.

'I could kill a slayer,' Angel whined like a kid. 'I'm trying for redemption and killing a slayer isn't exactly conducive to that.'

'What about Faith?' Anya asked impatiently. 'She may have been a slayer but she threatened the lives of the people you supposedly care about. Or at the very least consider keeping alive because the girl you supposedly love would be upset if they died.'

Angel didn't have an answer for that. It wasn't like Anya didn't have a point. He went out every night and killed demons and vampires to prevent them from harming people but he couldn't take out one human who abused her superhuman strength and used it to harm humans. His soul really didn't stop him from killing it just made him feel bad about it. He tried not to think too much about it, he had the feeling none of his arguments would really hold up against an onslaught from Anya. It was best to just keep his mouth shut.

'I don't think killing would be a good idea for me, even if the human in question is a slayer with no qualm against killing humans.'

'You're right,' Buffy said in what seemed like a wise manor but was in actual fact poorly concealed sarcasm. 'You're a recovering serial killer. You wouldn't force a recovering alcoholic to drink would you?'

Angel didn't like that analogy one bit. He was not a serial killer that was Angelus; he was just Irish born Liam, the drunken womanizer who didn't give a damn about his family. He wasn't, of course likely to tell Buffy that, it would leave her with a bad impression of him. He especially didn't want to go telling her the true nature of his life as a human if she knew all about Spike's human life. He simply could not stand up to that kind of comparison.

'I'm not a killer, Buffy,' he attempted to remind her. 'Angelus is the killer.'

'You _are_ Angelus and the sooner you understand that the sooner you can truly achieve whatever the hell it is you're striving for,' Buffy informed him with a roll of her eyes.

'I'm not Angelus,' Angel insisted.

'Name one thing that makes you truly different from Angelus,' Anya dared.

'I can love!' Angel exclaimed in frustration.

Both Buffy and Anya scoffed at him and continued walking the way they had been headed before Angel decided to rehash his days as the creepy, brooding stalker.

'Demons can't love,' he insisted. 'They're incapable of it.'

'No, Angel,' Buffy shook her head sadly. 'You can't love. Demons are perfectly capable of love. Spike's demon loves me just as much as William does.'

'There is no William!' Angel growled in angrily. 'He died in 1880.'

'He lost his soul, William is still who he is just with bits of Spike.'

'You have no idea what you're talking about.'

'I have every idea what I'm talking about,' Anya snapped.

Angel's eyes flashed to her face as it changed and became the veiny face of a vengeance demon. Angel's jaw dropped but it was the girlish squeak from Xander that held Anya's attention.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

a/n: well its a short update but hopefully its a good one. i was a little annoyed at the length but it ended when it ended and apparently i had no control. meh. thanks for the great reviews!

**Chapter 15**

Xander refused to speak to any of them as he led the way toward Nikolai's hideout. Anya repeatedly attempted to speak to him but he steadily ignored her. He didn't even notice the tears in her eyes and he pointedly refused to even look at her when she began to struggle to keep her tears silent. Buffy found she was unable to remember what she ever saw in her friend if he could hurt someone who had loved and cared for him for almost a year. She did not like the Xander Harris she was seeing.

Buffy was so busy assessing Xander's dismissive behaviour that she didn't pay much attention to the activity going on in her stomach. She brushed off the strange fluttering sensation as an over active baby. It wasn't until they reached the house that she paid it some attention and even then she just assumed it was because of the large group of vampires said to be occupying the house.

As soon as they came within sight of the house Willow motioned them over to where she stood with Tara and Tilly behind a hedge. Hiding a smile at Willow's childlike enthusiasm, Buffy crept over to them. Tilly took no time in telling her everything they had learnt while they were stationed out front behind the hedge. It didn't take long for Buffy to agree this was one of the more obvious places for Nikolai to be hiding out given the circumstances. With Tilly able to give her a rough count of the vampires present and the two demons they had witnessed entering the house Buffy decided the best way to deal with them would be simply to burst in there and take out everything in sight. It would provide an excellent outlet for everyone's Xander issues, Xander's demon issues and Angel issues in general.

Filling everyone in, Buffy barely waited for their agreement before storming the house. That was probably a good thing because Angel looked ready to launch into a reasonable argument she didn't have time for. The first vampire she came across didn't even know she was there until her stake was piercing his heart. The second one had a little more warning; he got to actually watch the stake enter his chest. After that all hell broke loose. Buffy launched herself at the nearest vampire and began to tear into him. Despite the chaos of fighting and dusting vamps it was easy to see just how much her fighting had improved and it was even easier for Angel to see the influence Spike had had on her skills and technique. It wasn't long before the vamp dust was settling and Buffy was realizing something rather important.

Nikolai was long gone.

It was then that Buffy really started to pay attention to the wriggling butterflies in her stomach. Yes, her baby was being way more active than normal but now she knew it had nothing to do with the house of vampires and everything to do with a certain bleached blonde daddy vamp. Buffy started to panic when a thought occurred to her. Just where was Nikolai? Buffy opened her mouth to draw someone's attention to her sudden Spike worry but she didn't manage to say the words before she was hit by a scorching pain. Her veins felt like they were on fire and a dull throbbing became all she could feel of her claim on Spike and their ties though the curse.

'Oh!'

Buffy staggered to the side into Xander. She couldn't breathe; she couldn't feel anything but that stupid throbbing. She couldn't feel Spike anymore. She felt like she had been torn in two. Everyone was crowding around her asking what was wrong, asking so many questions, becoming louder as the tears began to fall. And then she received a sharp kick from the only connection to Spike she could truly feel. Her baby could feel its daddy and its daddy was in trouble.

'Anya!' she whimpered. 'Spike. Now. Go!'

Anya didn't question it, she just teleported straight to Spike. Buffy's reaction should have prepared her in some way for what she saw when she arrived at his side but it still took her by surprise. Spike hung unconscious in the air surrounded by a sphere of red light that she assumed was blocking his connection to Buffy. Standing around him were several powerful warlocks and a very smug looking Nikolai.

'Farewell, Anyanka.'

Nikolai tipped his head to her, a smug grin on his face. The warlocks bought their hands together in a tremendous clap and Anya was left alone in the night, the barer of bad news.

At Giles' apartment Serrah screamed. In a now abandoned vampire suck house Buffy slipped into unconsciousness. Across the world vengeance demons clutched their heads at the sudden onslaught of vengeful screams pouring out of a small Californian town.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

a/n: i'm hardly working this week and i think its working out rather nicely for my writing. heres the next chapter with the aftermath of Spike's disapearance and Buffy's sudden desire to experience a coma.

**Chapter 16**

Giles should have known from the moment Serrah screamed and clutched her head that something bad was happening. He just didn't understand the severity of it until his door once more burst open and the Scoobies piled in looking very somber. Xander held Buffy tightly in his arms, her head lolling against his shoulder.

'Good lord, what happened?'

Xander moved further into the apartment and placed Buffy down on the couch. Serrah and Joyce immediately moved to her side. Once satisfied Buffy was in good hands and that her condition wasn't likely to change, Xander turned to answer Giles' question.

'We found the building where Nikolai and his men were hiding out, it wasn't until after we had killed all his men that Buffy realized Nikolai wasn't even there. Then she started acting funny, she sent Anya to find Spike and then she passed out. We haven't been able to wake her; Anya thinks it has something to do with the curse.'

'And where is Anya?'

'She and Tilly are out looking for Spike. Nikolai has him, wrapped Spike in some sort of magical bubble to dull his connection to Buffy and teleported him away,' Willow answered shakily.

'And Faith?'

Willow and Tara shot Giles a dirty look for asking about Faith when their friend was unconscious and Spike was in the hands of the enemy.

'Dead,' was the answer from Riley who had arrived just in time to hear Giles' question.

'Good,' Giles replied. 'One less thing we need to worry about.'

'What happened to Buffy?'

'That Riley is an excellent question.'

Giles tried several different ways to wake Buffy but none were successful, it was almost like she had slipped into a coma. He asked Serrah everything she knew about the curse her grandmother had performed and came to the conclusion, the same one Anya had reached an hour before, that Buffy's state was directly related to the disruption of her connection to Spike. There was nothing they could do for Buffy but look for Spike and hope that she would wake soon.

While they waited for any sign of change in Buffy's condition Giles questioned Riley on what he had seen and heard regarding Spike's fight with Faith. Riley wasted no time in describing Spike's actions with enough detail to make them sound worse than they actually were. Giles wrote everything down and once he was done he studied his notes thoughtfully.

'What makes Spike so capable of killing so many slayers?' Giles wondered aloud.

'Slayer death wish.'

Giles looked up from his notebook and stared at Angel. Unsure as to whether or not he'd heard correctly, it certainly had sounded like Angel had said something about a death wish.

'That's what Buffy said,' Angel explained. 'We were talking and she went all funny and said something that Dru said a hundred years ago.'

'And that was?'

'My Spike just killed himself a slayer.'

'Fascinating,' Giles murmured. 'And Drusilla said the exact same thing?'

'Right after Spike killed the Chinese slayer,' Angel confirmed.

'Must be another effect of the claim,' mused Giles, and then he remembered what they were supposed to be talking about. 'What does this have to do with Spike killing Faith?'

Angel shifted uncomfortably; all this mentioning of Spike killing slayers was just strengthening his resolve to somehow break the curse over Buffy and Spike. What was to stop Spike from getting bored and simply killing Buffy?

'Well we got talking about Spike killing slayers and Buffy said that Spike was just that good,' Angel couldn't help sneering at that. 'Then she said that the "slayer death wish" helped.'

Giles seemed to ponder this a moment before turning as though to address Buffy. He frowned; his questions were going to have to wait until she was actually conscious. He decided to make a list of everything he wanted to ask her and he would add to it as he continued to think of more questions.

'Maybe we should move her somewhere more comfortable?' Joyce suggested. 'Maybe take her back to her apartment? Tilly always says that a mate's scent is comforting.'

Everybody turned to stare at Joyce; they weren't quite used to this Joyce, the one that knew more about the local demon community than they who had been living with it for far longer. It took Giles a few seconds to understand what she was saying but once he'd managed to process it, he realized that not only was Joyce making an excellent suggestion she probably could have been of great help over the last year when it came to the local demon population.

'Excellent idea Joyce. Perhaps when we have a moment you could tell me more about this business you run for the demon community.'

Joyce searched his face for any sign of disapproval but all she saw was an eagerness to learn and understand.

'That sounds like a wonderful idea.'

Giles nodded and began to gather together anything he felt might be of use while they were at Buffy's. He handed a large stack of ancient texts to both Angel and Riley, directed Xander to grab weapons and Willow and Tara to gather any magical supplies they might need. Serrah was more than eager to help Xander carry the weapons and she led the way out of the apartment with a crossbow slung around her neck and three stakes clutched to her chest. Giles carried Buffy while Joyce closed and locked his apartment door.

It wasn't until they were gathered around their cars that Giles thought to ask where they were going. Which was an excellent question seeing as, while they'd all heard Buffy speak of the apartment she shared with Spike and they had the phone number for the apartment, none of them actually knew where it was.

'I never thought to ask,' Willow admitted. 'And I kind of got the feeling she didn't want me there.'

'I think,' Tara began cautiously, 'It's because for her, here in Sunnydale, that's the only place she's free to be who she has become. She doesn't have to be the Buffy you remember, she doesn't have to be the young girl who couldn't face her boyfriend when he went bad or the daughter who couldn't handle facing her mother and ran away. She gets to be Elizabeth Pratt, mate, wife and mother. She gets to be the woman who ran toward something better not the girl who ran away.'

The Scoobies, Angel and Joyce gaped at Tara. Willow looked at her girlfriend with more than a little awe. Because Tara was right and Anya had been trying to tell them from the very start but they weren't willing to listen. She wasn't that Buffy anymore, she wasn't the young girl who got scared when things with her vampire boyfriend got tough, and she wasn't the innocent slayer with the world resting on her shoulders. Buffy Summers was the past, Buffy Summers had grown into someone even more confident and happy. She had truly become Mrs. Elizabeth Pratt, wife, mother and mate to one of the worlds most infamous and dangerous vampires.


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

In the end they called Anya. Well, Tara summoned her as it seemed Anya had taken a shine to her and left Tara a card with her summoning spell on it. The funny thing was Tara had had the calling card for at least a day, far longer than they had even known Anya was still a vengeance demon. If only Tara had actually taken the time to look at the card she had been given. As it was, Anya stayed just long enough to write the address down for them and teleport back to Tilly and her search for Spike.

The next problem they encountered wasn't much of a problem for anyone but Angel. No sooner had they unlocked Buffy's apartment door and moved inside was Angel repelled by the barrier meant to keep vampires out. It hadn't occurred to any of them that this would be a problem seeing as Spike too lived there. Serrah, wise beyond her years, or maybe just more knowledgeable when it came to demon matters, explained to them that Buffy's name was always on the papers to prevent vampires like Nikolai just wandering in.

In truth, Serrah was beginning to get a little unnerving. The more time they spent with her the more talkative and lively she seemed. She knew far more than it appeared and seemed to take a ridiculous amount of pleasure out of leaving the door of the apartment open and offering to get Angel a chair. Joyce calmly warned Serrah to play nice even though she didn't like Angel; she then said quietly to Giles that Serrah was truly Spike's daughter. With Angel sulking just outside the apartment door, back propped against the invisible barrier and one of Giles' many texts in hand, the Scoobies carefully arranged Buffy in her own bed and returned to the living room to research.

It wasn't long before Serrah got bored and joined Buffy in the bedroom. When Tara went to check on them later she found Serrah curled up next to Buffy, Cabbage Patch doll snuggled tightly in her arms and fast asleep.

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Spike knew nothing. He saw nothing. He felt nothing. He drifted through a sea of red and black magic unaware of his surroundings, unaware of himself. He drifted with only the knowledge that something was missing. He screamed for this something unaware of what it was. Nothing was all he knew, incomplete was all he was.

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Buffy knew nothing. She saw nothing. She felt nothing. She drifted through a sea of red and black magic unaware of her surroundings, unaware of herself. She drifted with only the knowledge that something was missing. She screamed for this something unaware of what it was. Nothing was all she knew, incomplete was all she was.

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Anya was furious, furious to the point that if someone made a wish to her right then she may very well wipe out every living thing on the planet. Her head was pounding from the aftermath of Buffy's screams and she was having no luck finding Spike. And she was still very hurt over Xander's behaviour. She didn't see the problem, humans dated demons all the time, why should this be any different? She got that she had lied to him and that he had every right to be mad about that but to so blatantly ignore her. Well, that hurt.

She was mad at Spike for getting captured, mad at Nikolai for this whole stupid mess, mad at Buffy for sending her to Sunnydale, mad at Xander for being an ass but most of all she was mad at herself for falling so hard and so fast for someone as stupid and pigheaded as Xander. Why had she let Buffy talk her into responding to Cordelia's call? Why had she agreed to fake losing her powers to Giles in the alternate world? Why? Why? Why did she have to have such a soft spot for Buffy and Spike?

They had been doing perfectly fine without her there to keep an eye on them, why had she agreed to leave behind her life of wish granting, drinking and annoying Spike to move to a hellmouth and make sure that a bunch of humans didn't get in over their heads in the fight against the forces of darkness? Anya had no idea and if things between her and Xander weren't looking better by the time this was all over and Buffy and Spike were heading home she would return to Russia with them. Without Xander there was nothing left for her in Sunnydale.

'Why'd you do it?' Tilly asked, startling Anya from her thoughts.

'Do what?'

'Come here,' Tilly clarified. 'Pretend to be human.'

Anya didn't say anything for a while and Tilly wasn't sure she was going to answer.

'Buffy asked me to.'

'And that's it? The slayer asks you to throw your life away and spend what may have turned into a good portion of your it living as a human and you just say okay?'

Anya looked thoughtful for a moment and then she stopped walking to face Tilly.

'I've been a vengeance demon for over a thousand years and in all that time I've seen every possible way imaginable for people to get hurt, physically and emotionally. Just one evening with Buffy and Spike showed me that there is something good in this world, that people can love without all the pain and these people, the first in a thousand years who truly understood what it meant to love, treat me and love me like family. Wouldn't you do anything for that?'

Tilly didn't have an answer for that because quite honestly she would do anything for that, hell she was doing anything for that. Wasn't the reason she was walking the streets of Sunnydale because this was important to Joyce, the woman who had cared for her, saved her life on more than one occasion. Yeah, Tilly could understand the motivation behind something like that but didn't think she herself was capable of it on the level that Anya was.

'This is pointless,' Tilly announced. 'We're not going to find anything this way.'

'You're right,' Anya agreed. 'Spread the word here in Sunnydale we're looking for warlocks and Spike. I'll get word around other magic hotspots. We'll meet back at Buffy's.'

Tilly nodded and watched Anya teleport away. She would go to Teddy's and offer up a little cash for any information he had and maybe while she was there rescue a kitten or two. It was the best she could do tonight; they just had to hope Buffy would wake soon and have something more for them to go on.

a/n: next chapter sees more of Buffy and Spike and their magic haze as well as a confrontation between Anya and xander


	19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

a/n: okay no anya/xander this chapter it turns out, joyce and tilly got in the way but they will be next chapter! thanks for all the wonderfull reviews and i hope you enjoy this chapter just as much.

**Chapter 18**

There was a spark, a flash of gold amongst the black and red of magic. Slowly the spark grew until awareness tugged at them. Colors spread throughout the oppressive din of magic, flashes of blue and white and purple. Growing stronger and more apparent as the seconds passed. Scents were acknowledged next. He became aware of the smell and strength of blood, a reminder of what he was; a reminder of whom he was. She became aware of the smell of smoke and leather, a reminder of where she belonged. Vanilla and alcohol joined the scents, swirling around until images could accompany them. Awareness came faster and faster, sounds, thoughts, words, and faces. And then the world exploded and they become whole.

For Buffy there was a vampire, for Spike a slayer.

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The moment she saw him she felt the urge to laugh. The image of Angel, vampire with a soul, champion to the Powers That Be, slumped in a chair and resting against the barrier preventing him from entering the apartment the love of his life shared with the love of hers too good to dismiss. Tilly made sure to store that image away for future use before walking right passed him into the apartment as if she hadn't noticed him. Angel was too busy brooding over a book to notice her arrival and barely paused in his brooding to shoot her a glare.

'I found nothing,' she announced, slumping down onto the couch beside Tara. 'Though I did rescue this little guy for you.'

Tilly reached into her jacket and produced a small fluffy black kitten which she handed to Tara. Taken by surprise by Tilly's sudden unveiling of kitten, it took Tara a few moments to realize the kitten was being given to her.

'For me?' Tara asked in surprise.

'Of all of us, you're the one most likely to actually take care of him. Besides, Serrah has a monster of a puppy back home.'

Tara didn't know what to say, she reached out and gently took the kitten from Tilly's outstretched hands. The kitten immediately burrowed into her chest and started purring contentedly. Tara giggled softly and thanked Tilly several times just to cover all her bases.

'Where is Anya?' Giles questioned, closing one book and reaching for another, hopefully more promising, text.

'She's moved on from any hope of finding Spike in Sunnydale and is checking out other places and magical hotspots.'

'Will she be checking Sunnydale's pocket dimensions?' Joyce asked absently, her nose buried in a poetry book she'd found on Spike's dresser as apposed to demon or magical texts.

She looked up when she realized no one was speaking and the hairs were standing up on the back of her neck as though she had suddenly become the focus of every ones attention. She had, of course, but she wasn't exactly expecting it.

'Huh?' Willow gaped at Joyce; she was just full of surprises. It was a little hard to deal with, for the last two years they had viewed Joyce in a certain way but she just kept poking holes in their perception.

'We checked a few already,' Tilly answered slowly, amused to no end by the incredulous stares the eldest Summers woman was receiving. 'But there are a couple that I don't have access to that Anya can teleport into.'

Willow, Xander and Giles exchanged confused looks, having no idea what Joyce or Tilly were talking about. Giles was feeling completely off balance, a woman they had assumed knew very little about her daughters calling outside of what they had told her, in fact knew more than he did. He didn't know how to handle it, he was no longer in charge of the situation and it was freaking him out, not that he would ever admit it out loud. He couldn't help wondering how many disasters could have been averted by simply asking Joyce for her opinion.

'Sorry, what are you talking about?'

His answer came, not from Tilly or Joyce, but from the brooding vampire leaning against the door.

'Pocket dimensions. Hidden spaces. Some demons can create an area of space that exists within our dimension but out of phase. Humans can't see them and demons can only sense them. Some require special passwords, magical ingredients, to get into but most you can just walk right into if you can find them.'

'I have one in my backyard,' Joyce offered up. 'Very handy for treating vampires that need long term care.'

'You're starting to scare me,' Xander said.

'You have a pocket dimension in your backyard?' Giles squeaked.

Joyce nodded. 'One of my clients paid me by creating a pocket dimension that doesn't get sun. Its just a few rooms almost like a hospital.'

Giles simply shook his head. There really wasn't anything he could say to that.

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Her head hurt, her chest hurt but mostly her kidneys hurt. She could thank her baby for that; the little one was using them for kickboxing practice. Buffy groaned and tried to surface through the red fog in her mind. She registered a warm body beside her, one that smelt like strawberries and chocolate. Serrah. She reached out an arm and attempted to feel Spike on the other side of the bed. He wasn't there. And that's when everything came back in a rush and she let out a pain filled groan.

Gently freeing herself from Serrah, Buffy stumbled out of bed and out into the living room. With her eyes closed she barely registered the presence of the Scoobies. Her head was spinning and she kept seeing flashes of red across her eyelids. She tried opening her eyes and experienced the sickening sensation of the room moving around her. It was like her brain was rolling around on waves and her body was struggling to keep up. More light danced in front of her eyes causing everything to turn red.

'Whoa this is like a bad trip,' she groaned.

Momentarily startled by her sudden appearance the best anyone could come up with was a stunned question.

'How do you know what a trip is like?'

Groaning Buffy struggled over to an armchair Xander vacated for her and sank into it, praying that by sitting still she could stop the room from moving.

'Spike was at Woodstock; he ate a hippy and then spent a few hours watching his hand move. Whenever he dreams about it I spend the next couple of hours tripping.'

'Can I get you anything, honey?' Joyce asked sympathetically.

Buffy nodded and then clutched her head.

'There are a few packets of blood in the fridge,' Buffy explained, sinking further back into her chair and draping an arm over her face. 'Can you heat one of them up and add some of the Burba weed that's in the jar next to the sugar?'

The silence echoing within her living room was enough to cause her to remove her arm and open her eyes to squint at her friends.

'What?'


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

a/n: well here it is, the xander/anya confrontation (part 1 there has to be more you can't resove somehting that big in one fight). enjoy!

**Chapter 19**

She could feel their eyes on her but everything was still too red and swirling for her to return their stares. Besides, it wasn't like she didn't know what was wrong, you can't just ask for a mug of blood and not get strange looks from your friends who, up until a moment ago, had assumed Buffy to be a slightly misguided human. Still that didn't mean she couldn't have a little annoyance with her understanding.

'Would you stop staring at me!'

'But Buffy,' Xander yelped, 'you're drinking blood!'

'With Burba weed?' Angel added in disgust.

'Baby needs blood and Spike has this weird thing about adding spicy stuff to his blood.'

'You say that like it explains everything,' Xander shuddered.

Buffy sighed heavily, it did explain everything. Unfortunately she wasn't used to working with people who were so close minded, she thought it was fairly obvious, she was having a vampires baby, pregnant people have weird cravings, being pregnant with the child of a vampire just made her cravings of the liquid variety. She could blame Spike for the habit of adding things to blood, its not like she particularly liked the taste of blood, it was just that whatever Spike added to it seemed to make it okay to drink.

'Xander, it does explain everything,' Anya snapped, appearing in the room out of nowhere and startling Giles into emitting a girlish squeak. 'They are cursed, tied together in every way. Think for once before you speak!'

The room was silent for a moment, everyone waiting to see how Xander would react. Just when he looked about to explode Willow leapt to her feet.

'Sugary goodness! We need sugary goodness!'

'I'll help you with that,' Giles volunteered immediately.

The two didn't even stop to say goodbye before they were out the door. Buffy quickly offered up an excuse about checking on Serrah and Tara, Tilly and Joyce couldn't offer to go with her quicker. Soon they were shut tight in Buffy's room exchanging awkward glances as they tried not to hear what was happening in the other room.

Angel was left at the door, unable to enter because Buffy still hadn't invited him in and unwilling to leave lest he miss something important while he was brooding at home rather than on Buffy's doorstep. Thus he was left to bare witness to the possible destruction of Anya and Xander's relationship.

As soon as his friends escaped Xander began his tirade.

'I can't believe you didn't tell me you're a DEMON!' he shouted. 'I loved you, I cared about you. I let you touch me!'

SMACK!

Xander stumbled back from the force of the blow. Anya stood before him, breathing heavily and shaking her hand to relieve the sting of her slap.

'Xander Harris you disgust me!'

'I disgust you? I disgust YOU!' Xander laughed almost hysterically. 'You're a demon, you kill people, you don't even have a soul!'

'A soul doesn't mean anything!'

Neither paid much attention to Angel's rather loud objection.

'A soul means everything, _Anyanka_! It's what tells you right form wrong, it's what stops you from killing!'

Anya snorted. 'A soul doesn't do anything! It's just an excuse you hide behind so you don't have face up to the truth.'

'And what truth is that, Ahn? That my girlfriend is a killer? That I let myself believe for one second that you could actually care for me? That you actually loved me?'

'So you don't have to think about what you've done!' Anya shouted. 'You hide behind the idea of a soul like it's a shield, like it can protect you from what you've already seen.'

'What I've seen was Angelus! I think that's proof enough about the importance of a soul.'

Anya growled, she was practically vibrating with anger. She wanted to lash out and hit Xander, she wanted to wish him into a dimension full of clowns, she wanted to scream at him until he understood. She took a deep breath and when she spoke to him next her voice was softer, though even more deadly than before.

'You don't want to think about those who can love. You don't want to face up to the fact that Spike can be good even without a soul, that Angel, with or without, is still the same monster just with a little collar that zaps him when he does bad. You can't stand the idea that Tilly is just as human on the inside as you are on the outside. The fact that your human parents, who had souls, treated you worse than Spike treats Buffy. But most of all you need to think that way because if it's not true, if I can love without a soul, if the soul isn't important, then you killed Jesse without even giving him a chance!'

Xander stood frozen. He could think, couldn't speak just stared blankly at his girlfriend, the demon. Inside her room Buffy winced, wishing more than anything she could go out and comfort Anya, prove to Xander just how wrong he was, but she knew this was something the pair needed to face on their own. Besides, now she was seeing purple fireworks across her eyes and they were open.

'I can love Xander, I love with all that has survived of my heart in the thousand years it has been bruised and battered. I love Buffy and Spike like they were family. I love Serrah. I love those stupid little things you say to be funny. I love you Xander Harris with all of my soulless heart but right now I can't understand why.'

She didn't give him a chance to reply before she swiped angrily at the tears falling down her cheeks and teleported away. Xander didn't move for a long time. He just stood in the middle of Buffy's living room with his mouth hanging open and a stunned look on his face. When he finally did move it was merely to slide to the floor thinking only of the mess that had become his life.

Angel didn't know what to say. Like Xander, his mouth was hanging open, he didn't like what Anya was saying, and he didn't believe it. He couldn't. Because if he did, if he did, then he would have to face up to the reality that Spike was, and had always been, the better vamp.

The occupants of Buffy's room sat in awkward silence not knowing whether or not it was safe yet to venture out. Buffy held a look of sympathy for Anya but she knew these things needed to be said. Now if only she could get Anya back to find out what she knew about Spike.

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Floating in a red magical bubble, Spike couldn't help but wonder why the heck he could taste Burba weed and why it was that Serrah was singing in his head.


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

They waited a little longer in Buffy's room to give Xander a chance to calm down. Buffy sat calmly beside Serrah finishing off her drink of blood and Burba weed that had made everyone cringe earlier. She was only half listening to the whispered conversation going on at the end of the bed; her mind was occupied with something else, someone else. She could feel him now, their connection was back weaker than usual but it was there, everything she did and saw was tainted red with magic.

And was that singing?

She knew what Spike's voice sounded like, had heard him sing a million times before, mostly when he didn't know she was listening. It wasn't Spike singing but it was coming through the curse. Buffy frowned and looked at the little girl asleep beside her. She was dead to the world but Buffy knew that didn't mean much these days.

It was Xander himself who let them know it was safe to come out. He opened the door and even though he didn't speak a word they got the idea. Once they were back in the living room settled back into researching, what they were researching Buffy wasn't sure, Angel spoke up.

'Uh, Buffy, maybe you could invite me in?'

Buffy just looked at him over the top of her empty mug, she looked him directly in the eye and told him without words exactly what she thought of that idea. Apparently Angel couldn't and hadn't ever been able to read her even when she thought it was rather obvious.

'Invite me in?' he pleaded.

'I'm not going to invite you in Angel, you're not safe.'

'Excuse me?' he asked incredulously.

'You're not safe,' she said again, making sure she spoke clearly and probably giving Angel the impression she thought him stupid.

'What the hell does that mean?'

'It means, Angelus, that you have no control over your demon. If I invited you in I bet you the only thing I'd have to do right now to get rid of your soul was tell you I hated Spike and was just waiting for you.'

Xander smiled slightly; even if he had just had the fight of all fights with his girlfriend he could still take pleasure in watching Buffy tear Angel down emotionally. Tilly, too, was taking great pleasure in watching Angel receive a nice slap back to reality. While she had only known the scoobies personally for a few days, she felt that watching Angel get taken down a notch, especially if Buffy was going to do it the way she suspected, would be good for Xander.

'You think I have no control over my demon?'

'I know you have no control over your demon, Angelus,' she informed him stressing the Latin of his name.

'Like Spike does?'

He was expecting an answer from Buffy but instead received one from Joyce.

'She's right, Angel, and you know it. You don't want to admit it but you do understand what Buffy is saying. I have treated all manner of demon and vampire and never have I encountered one so in denial of his nature.'

'And what does that mean?'

It was around then that Xander began to understand what it was that the woman in his life, with the exception of Willow, had been trying to drum into him for the last couple of days. He finally understood why everyone had been so adamant when speaking of the differences between Angel and Spike, why Tilly had been so insistent that Angel was the exception not the rule. All of the behaviour he had observed between Buffy and Spike, Spike and Serrah, coupled with everything Anya had yelled at him, reminded him, well told him actually, that the world wasn't black and white.

He was tired of lying to himself, tired of hurting. He made the decision to change and he started by answering Angel.

'It means Angel, that you're not getting an invite into this apartment, where Buffy's daughter and unborn baby are safe. She can't trust you to keep hold of your soul. Joyce treats demons and vampires all the time and she obviously has never had any trouble, they know who and what they are, they don't hide from that. You do. You're weak Angel, you need a soul to tell you right from wrong where Spike and other demons already know it. They make a conscious choice about their lives and how they, as demons, are gong to live it.'

'Some of my clients,' Joyce began carefully where Xander had left off. 'Choose not to feed on humans; choose not to kill when they feed. Some demons like Tilly simply don't act out aggression against humans, they have no need. They are perfectly capable and perfectly willing to live alongside humans.'

So stunned was he by Xander's addition to this anti-Angel rant, that Angel was actually absorbing everything they had to say. He heard every word Buffy and Joyce had to say, everything Buffy had been trying to tell him. He couldn't exactly let Xander have a revelation before he did.

'You Angel, are too weak to make that decision, you need a soul, an intangible piece of ether that no one can even identify wholly, to make those decisions for you,' Buffy finished.

'My soul is who I am, Buffy, not the demon. My soul is Liam, all that is left of my humanity.'

'I know all about Liam, Angel, all about his drinking and his man whoring. He's not exactly who you are now either. The Liam Spike is familiar with is not standing outside my door.'

'Spike never met Liam!'

'Yes he did,' Tara spoke up and Angel couldn't believe that everyone was getting in on this. 'He's the only one of us who really knows you. He saw you before the soul and after. He knows who you are and that terrifies you, he knows when you're lying and hiding things, he knows that you fear what you are. Until you stop being afraid of the demon you won't be welcome in our homes.'

'Until you can be like Spike you get to stay outside,' Xander finished.

Angel's head was spinning. He didn't stick around; he tossed the book he had been reading inside the apartment and stormed off, brushing right passed Willow and Giles on the stairs.

'What was that all about?' Willow asked with a frown.

Buffy smiled brightly for the first time since Spike had been captured. She was proud of what Xander had done and ecstatic that he had finally realized the truth. Then she frowned.

'Can anyone else hear singing?'

a/n: next chapter is an all spike chapter


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

a/n: ugh sorry i missed an update last thursday but uni has started up again and i no longer have thurdsay off. fridays yes so i'll probably start posting on fridays instead. as for the missing chapter last week well, i was busy busy busy. and my heads going a mile a minute with this orginal story i'm working on and i've gotten slightly obsessed with NCIS fanfic since channel ten has decided repeats are better than new eps 4 eps before the end. i'm hoping its just some misguided attempted to correct our ratings system after they went all "streamlined from the US" bah. i'm rambling about stuff you probably don't want to hear. please ignore the vent badly disguised as an authors note and read the chapter. its not my best but its something. more soon.

**Chapter 21**

He was floating in a red bubble of magic, whenever he attempted to open his eyes the world would shift and he'd get the feeling the contents of his stomach wanted out. The contents of his stomach, the blood of a slayer, was making him edgy. And he could still hear the damn singing. When he got a hold of Serrah next he was confiscating anything she owned that produced music. No more Discman for her.

Of course in order to confiscate her Discman he needed to first find his way out of the magical bubble. Magic was never his thing; he tended to avid it which was bloody hard to do since he'd picked up a magically inclined baby in a poker game. Magic was Dru's thing and even she didn't use the big stuff. He knew enough about magic to know that avoiding it was the best thing to do.

Then again magic seemed to find him no matter where he went. His first trip to Sunnydale had him using magic to save Dru, a trip to Wales with Buffy found them swept into a fractured coven. Romania had him befriending the very Gypsy clan who had cursed Angelus. And then there was Turkey. Turkey had seen the spell that would change everything, the spell that would forever tie him to the slayer in ways beyond control, beyond knowledge, beyond blood. It would forever tie him to a demon line that he had adopted as his own.

He had to concede that on occasion magic did have its uses. Right now he couldn't think how exactly useful it was to be trapped in a bubble, with his magically inclined demon daughter singing in his head and the knowledge that through the claim, what was open of it anyway, he knew that Buffy had just succumbed to her craving of blood and Burba weed.

What was the use in knowing that?

And why the bloody hell was Serrah singing?

With nothing to do but contemplate the back of his eyelids Spike found it extremely difficult to block out Serrah's voice. It's not like she had a bad voice but she was singing what sounded suspiciously like _I Wanna be Sedated_ in Turkish. Apparently he didn't just have to confiscate her Discman but he needed to seriously curb what she was listening to. With nothing better to do he started to sing along. If he was lucky his bubble wouldn't be sound proof and he could annoy whoever was watching him.

It wasn't until he'd finished the first verse that he noticed it. The more he sang the stronger his connection got. He could feel the magic that connected him to Serrah via the curse strengthening. He knew the stronger that got the stronger the curse got. The stronger the curse got the quicker Buffy could find him and the quicker Red could get him out of this damn bubble.

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Buffy opened her mouth to contradict Giles and the lyrics to a Ramone's song fell from her lips. In Turkish.

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There was an echo to the song now, another voice singing along, drifting to him across the magic. He knew it was Buffy, had heard her singing before to Serrah. He knew now what Serrah was doing, strengthening their connection the only way she knew how. She was too young to know how to strengthen the curse with words and power but she did know her family. She understood the curse on a basic level and understood her role. She was the granddaughter of the caster of the curse and the adopted daughter of the cursed. They were connected by magic and now she was using that magic to strengthen the familial bond. The stronger the familial bond the strong Spike's bond to Buffy would be made.

Until the world exploded around him, a great wave of power rushing outward as all the dulled connections flared to life. The red magical bubble surrounding Spike didn't stand a chance in the aftermath of the magical explosion. Nor did one of the warlocks standing guard over him.

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Nikolai's fantasy involving a willing and possibly slave-like Buffy and a very dead Spike was shattered just like every window in the house he was currently residing in. Several of the warlocks he had been trying to ignore while his fantasy took hold were thrown off their feet by what he could only assume was some kind of magic. His shouts and orders for someone to find out just the hell had just happened were drowned out by the very loud, very angry howl that came from the basement. He didn't need to know any more, he was certain he could piece together enough to know he would be in serious pain if he didn't leave now. Nikolai wasn't stupid; he hadn't survived this long in the pursuit of a mated slayer by sticking around and fighting it out with Spike.

No, Nikolai wasn't stupid. Unfortunately for him he wasn't fast enough either.

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The singing stopped and Buffy felt like she was being pounded back together, all of her missing pieces being hammered into place. The red haze was gone and it had been replaced by an unwavering sense of rage. Nikolai would survive, he always did. But he would make it out alone.

And in several pieces.

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The backlash of the strengthening of the curse killed the warlock standing guard. Their mistake had been, and always would be, underestimating the curse. That didn't stop him from snapping the guy's neck to be sure. Spike took stock of his surroundings, glad to be rid of the red magic haze and the stupid bubble that had left him floating in the air. It didn't surprise him to note the Gem of Amara was still snuggly on his finger; Nikolai wasn't stupid enough to risk being that close to Spike. He _was_ stupid enough not to realize it was worth the risk in this particular case.

He had the Gem for protection, a pulsing thread of magic, love and more emotions than man kind had been able to name connecting him to his slayer, he had magic tying him to his beautiful demon daughter.

But best of all? He found a knife on the dead warlock and he planned to do some serious damage.


	23. Chapter 22

a/n: okay well i'm giving up on regular updates it just doesn't seem like its going to happen just now. ah well. thanks for all the fabulous reviews!

**Chapter 22**

'What the hell was that?' Xander demanded when Buffy finally stopped singing.

She wavered unsteadily as she tried to pull herself from her chair. There was no more red wobbly vision but she had the mother of all headaches. At least the singing had stopped. Clutching her head she started pacing to work off all the pent up energy she was channeling from Spike. Stupid slayer blood.

'That was Serrah,' Buffy explained. 'She reaffirmed the curse the only way she knew how. I can feel Spike again and boy is he pissed.'

'Do you know where he is?'

She shook her head and explained that in order for her to know where Spike was Spike would need to know where Spike was.

'You can't find him?'

'I can!' Anya announced brightly, popping out of nowhere. 'You broke the magical bubble!' she said happily.

'How does that help us?' Willow asked.

'Huge magical explosion and one heck on an after shock. Spike knocked every magical being within a six block radius flat when you fixed the curse.'

'Incredible,' Giles murmured, he was itching to sit Buffy and Spike down and document every event related to the curse. 'But how does that help us?'

Anya shook her head; she just couldn't understand how someone so smart could at times be so dumb. Over the last few days she had begun to notice just how ignorant he could be. For someone who was supposed to have been a badass magic wielder in his youth, he seemed incapable of grasping the obvious.

'Giles the curse sent out a huge wave of power that was probably felt all over the world, it's gonna be easy to find him now.'

Buffy was already collecting weapons from all over the apartment preparing to leave on a moments notice.

'Where is he?' she asked, sliding a knife into her boot.

'He's in LA.'

Buffy's shoulders slumped; LA was not a mere walk away. It would be hours before she could see Spike again. That didn't mean she wasn't going to leave as soon as possible.

'Pack a bag, we leave in half an hour,' she ordered her old friends. 'And somebody find Angel, LA is his turf we're gonna need him.'

They hesitated and Buffy snapped at them that she would be leaving in half an hour and they would be ready if they wanted to go with her. They practically ran out of the apartment after that leaving Buffy alone with her mother. Joyce didn't have to ask to know what Buffy wanted to say.

'I'll stay with her,' she assured Buffy. 'I'll keep her safe if you try not to get Tilly too badly hurt. She can hold her own in a fight but she's slightly accident prone.'

Buffy smiled. 'Deal.'

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'I'm an idiot.'

Anya felt no need to contradict him so she said nothing just continued to walk away from Buffy and Spike's building. She could of teleported herself back to her apartment but that wouldn't give Xander the chance to grovel. She was hoping that was what he was planning to do by calling himself stupid. She didn't have to wait long for her theory to be proved correct.

'I was stupid, I was an ass, and I was the worlds biggest jerk.'

Again she felt no need to say anything, though she did smile a little. Even if she didn't say anything she wasn't exactly going to encourage him to stop insulting himself. He had treated her like crap it was only fair to let him treat himself like crap if only for a few minutes.

'Anya, can you ever forgive me?'

Anya stopped walking but didn't turn to face Xander; rather she waited for him to catch up and then hurry to stand before her.

'I know I was a real jerk but while you were off looking for Spike Buffy got really angry at Angel and the things she was yelling actually made sense. The things you were yelling made sense.'

He looked down at his shoes and shuffled his feet briefly before taking a deep breath and looking her straight in the eye.

'I love you Anya even if you are a thousand years older than me and occasionally become really scary and veiny. Because you're right, I was scared, I don't handle the Jesse thing well and I was letting my fears about that ruin what we have. You were right, Buffy was right, Tilly was right; Angel is the exception not the rule. Demons can love and right now they can love a whole lot better than I can. But I want to learn. I want to love you veins and all.'

As romantic gestures went it wasn't perfect but it was enough for now. It was a start. She could work with starts. Yes by the time she was done, Xander would be a regular demon loving, bad guy stopping, Scooby. She smiled at him and wrapped her arm around his.

'It's a start Xander.'

They walked several blocks in comfortable silence until Xander took the next step toward accepting demons.

'Tell me about being a justice demon.'

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Giles found Angel.

When most people storm off in anger they go to some bar and drink their sorrows away. If you're not most people and you happen to be a demon or vampire, you'd storm off in anger and kill someone. Giles, used to dealing with a slayer, knew that when pissed off Buffy liked to blow off steam by killing things.

Angel did none of these things but Giles was prepared for that. Angel wasn't like normal people he chose to brood which made it ridiculously easy to find him. He was sitting in the mansion staring into the empty fireplace with a solemn look on his face. He probably could have benefited from beating someone up.

'She's never going to choose me is she?' Angel asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Giles rolled his eyes.

'Buffy is a very independent young woman and she is perfectly capable of making her own choices. Though I wouldn't have chosen for that choice to be Spike I can't help but see that she was right to do so.'

Angel grunted.

'You can't honestly tell me you like Spike.'

Giles couldn't really answer that. He had learnt quite a few things in the last few days that fundamentally changed the way he saw things. He was beginning to understand how strong Spike was for overcoming his demon. Angel could learn a lot from his grandchilde but it would take a lot to convince him of that.

'I believe Spike has given Buffy more than any slayer before her. He has given her hope for a future, has given her the chance to live like a normal girl. Because of Spike and a demon witch Buffy is going to see her twenty first birthday, she's going to see her children grow old, she's going to live to save the world and her friends and family. She's been given the chance to love and you need to accept that.'

Angel grunted again.

'Spike is in LA, we need your help.'


	24. Chapter 23

a/n: well...here we are, the next chapter, this one is a little less actiony than i had originally planned in that it is actionless (violence wise), theres a cordy/buffy heart to heart and brief mentions of spike. also i got slightly carried away and lapsed into angel bashing in one part. but meh, its not like i like the guy. anyway i promise there will be plenty of spike in the next chapter. thank you all for the great reviews, they help with the writers block and just generally make me feel better when i'm forced to sit through an hour long lecture about statistics in my archaeology class. give me a trowel and i'm good to go but a slide presentation on statistics and standard deviation. yech.

**Chapter 23**

It was just another one of those days and frankly Cordelia really just wanted to go home. She didn't want to stay around late at the office because Angel was returning to Sunnydale with her high school friends in tow. She especially didn't want to stick around for the return of little miss perfect Buffy Summers. Personally she didn't see the appeal. Yeah, Buffy was good for keeping the evil at bay but Angel did an alright job once he'd returned and even Faith had pitched in before she went all crazy psycho girl. Cordy just couldn't see what was so damn awesome about perfect little Buffy Summers.

And then the vision hit.

And with no one around she went down hard, missing the sofa by an inch and hit the floor clutching her head. The vision itself hurt like hell. What she was being shown by the Powers themselves? So worth it. There was skin, lots and lots of naked sexy man; she felt his helplessness, his fear for someone else and his love for someone else. Mostly she felt the pain. Excruciating, mind blowing, torturous pain. She screamed.

Wesley heard her screams from downstairs and hurried up to find out what was happening. He arrived at the same time Angel did. He offered Angel a quick hello before rushing to Cordelia's side. Angel had his own problems. While Wes helped a no longer screaming Cordelia onto the couch she had only just missed, Angel attempted to help Tilly and Anya guide Buffy to the very same couch. Suffice to say she neither wanted his help or the others, though she was less vocal about Tilly and Anya's help.

'Back off!' she finally growled and Angel stepped back like a wounded puppy dog.

Despite her pain Cordy snorted. This was a Buffy she could actually like.

'Hi, Cordy,' Buffy greeted, making a conscious effort to breath in a some what natural rhythm. 'See anything good?'

Cordelia shook her head grimly. 'Cute guy being tortured. I didn't see much and I couldn't tell who it was but he was in a lot of pain.'

Buffy nodded. 'Spike.'

'What?'

'You saw Spike,' Buffy repeated flinching as a sudden pain struck her left shoulder.

'Why would I be shown Spike? Why would I wanna help Spike?'

Buffy growled and Cordelia had a fleeting worry that she'd been turned into a vampire. Buffy turned away from Cordy and addressed the room at large. She could see the worry etched on all the faces of her friends but she knew that only Tilly and Anya were actually showing concern for Spike as well.

'He didn't make it out of the house,' she told them. She winced again and had to wait for the pain to subside before continuing. 'He killed six vamps and four of the warlocks guarding him before he got to Nikolai.'

'And Nikolai?' Giles asked, scrubbing his lenses furiously.

Buffy winced again.

'He's down for the count, Spike sort of chopped off one of his arms.'

'Good,' Anya nodded approvingly. Then she frowned. 'Why didn't he make it out of the house?'

Buffy shuddered once more with Spike's pain.

'He killed everything in that house and injured Nikolai but before he could finish the job he got jumped by two warlocks. We can't fight magic, Giles. I can feel everything they do to him. They hurt him with magic and he feels it.'

'Why doesn't the ring heal him?' Willow asked.

'Because the ring heals only the physical,' Giles answered for Buffy.

They waited for Buffy to say more but she just stood up and started to walk around, rolling her shoulders and flexing her fingers. This was one of those times, those rare times, where the new, more mature Buffy required a Watcher to take charge. Giles didn't hesitate.

'Wesley, how are you at magic?'

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'So you and Spike, huh?'

'Me and Spike.'

'I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume he grows on a person and that he isn't actually all that evil.'

Buffy smiled slightly and turned to face Cordelia.

'He's not evil,' Buffy assured her. 'Just misunderstood.' She smirked.

'You know I hated you for a long time,' Cordy said conversationally. 'I blamed you for what happened between me and Xander.'

'I know,' Buffy replied. 'Anya told me all about your wish. I'm sorry for what Xander did to you but its not like I ever gave him the impression I liked him.'

'I know and I got over that but I have to tell you that listening to Angel whine constantly about how you were out there all alone, and possibly hurt, really didn't help me like you.'

Buffy nodded and they sat in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable; they just sat on the couch watching as their friends prepared to rescue Spike. Xander and Anya had long ago gone for food and if Buffy knew Anya it would be quite a while before they were seen again.

'I don't understand him,' Buffy said quietly having noticed Cordy watching Angel with amusement as he squinted at a Latin text Wesley had handed him.

'What's not to understand?' Cordy asked with a frown.

Cordelia honestly couldn't understand what was so confusing about Angel. He was ridiculously straight forward. Morally corrupt human becomes evil beyond evil vampire who, through an unfortunate choice of evening meal, is cursed with a soul and becomes (after many years spent eating rats and in desperate need of a bath) slightly obsessed with the pretty girl. Then, after some frighteningly stalkerish behavior, decides that he is on a journey to redemption which will require him to become celibate and brood till the world ends and there is no longer any higher power to attempt to impress. Really what was not to get?

'Does he really believe the soul makes a difference or does he just tell himself that as a way of coping?'

Cordelia didn't have an answer for her, at least not really. She'd never spent any quality time with other vampires but what she'd felt in her vision had given her a glimpse of how much Spike really felt. If he could feel and love to such an extent what was to say other vampires and demons couldn't? Look at Doyle, he had sacrificed his life to save hundreds of people and he was part demon. He showed that demons were capable of feeling. If demons and vampires could love why couldn't Angelus?

'I can't really answer that,' Cordelia replied honestly. 'But if I had to guess I'd say he has to tell himself in order to feel like he can make a difference.'

Buffy sighed. 'I get that, I really do, I just…back in Sunnydale he tried to convince me that Spike was evil and was just acting out some elaborate scheme to kill his third, well fourth now, slayer. He acted like he was better than Spike because he had a soul. But not once did he acknowledge the things he had done wrong. Spike may not feel guilt but he understands it enough to change his ways. He loves me enough to change. He loves me enough to let my mother know I'm alive and safe. What has Angel ever done that has shown he cares even a fraction of that?'

Cordelia knew the answer to that question; it was a resounding, no question about it, straight up, nothing. In that moment Cordelia understood more about her boss than she wanted to. It certainly didn't look on him favorably and sort of made her more eager to rescue Spike just so she could compare the two in person. Maybe spending a little quality time with Spike would help Angel to see things clearly.

'Wait a minute,' Cordy said suddenly. 'Faith is dead?'


	25. Chapter 24

a/n: sigh. its been so much longer than i intended since i posted a new chapter for this. i think it was worth the wait though. this whole chapter, while way shorter than the rest, is 100 spike goodness. reveiws are much appreciated and much loved.

**Chapter 24**

He knew where he was. He was back in the basement but there was no red magical bubble this time. Now he was just chained to the wall. He knew all this, could feel the cold brick against his back. Only, his mind was floating elsewhere. Long gone where the groans of Nikolai as his men tried to reattach his arm. No more could he hear the warlocks in front of him, muttering and chanting as they attempted to keep him immobile. He couldn't feel the burning hot poker as it burnt into his flesh. Nothing physical existed to him anymore. He was trapped in his mind.

There were screams. Tears. Blood. So much blood he could smell it, feel it beneath his feet. It squished between his toes covering his feet in blood. His hands too. Everything was red. So much blood. And the screams. The sound of thousands of people. Those he'd killed crying out in agony. Hundreds of thousands of loved ones crying out for justice. The pain and fear smothered him, constricted his chest so he couldn't breathe. Tears were falling down his cheeks and he cried out. No one could hear him over the screams of so many dead. Humans. Demons. Half breeds. So many voices. Slayers.

So many dead, so much pain. And that song. The words traveled to him across the blood and screams. A song his mother used to sing. She was here somewhere. Another of his victims screaming and crying out. It hurt, god it hurt so much. He wanted to shout out. There was a name on the tip of his tongue but it had no meaning, nothing meant anything but blood and fear and pain and grief.

Dru was in front of him singing about baby fish and ashes.

Angelus was before him laughing about satisfying Dru.

Darla stood before him sharing a brief moment of solidarity as she had done so many times before when they found themselves out alone while Angelus had his way with Dru.

Cecily was before him, cold eyes informing him he was beneath her.

Halfrek was before him, smug and amused as they watched Buffy and Anya dance. Laughing as she informed him that maybe he wasn't so beneath her but she wouldn't mind being beneath him.

The Chinese slayer watched him with a steely expression, no fear, no regret, a job well done even as all the blood drained out of her neck wound and she died unable to say goodbye to her mother.

Nikki Wood glaring at him, yelling at him for leaving her son alone. For taking her life when she had others to protect.

Faith stood silent and strong. She wasn't covered in blood like the others; she was covered in tears and light. A beacon to show him another life, another person he had taken away. She held no anger. No fear. She nodded as he moved passed her into the sea of his victims.

His heart felt like it was being ripped out. It hurt so much he though it had started to beat. He wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his feelings. If only Angel could see what a vampire without a soul could feel.

Angel.

What a joke. He stood before Spike, all souled up and self righteous. And for the first time Spike felt no fear or regret. No guilt. He had done nothing to Angel that Angelus hadn't done to him a thousand times over.

There was a spark in the darkness. A light forcing its way through the blood and death. A bright light that washed warmth and hope over Spike. And then she was there, standing before him.

One of the few people in the whole world he never wanted to hurt.

The only one he had never hurt.

He called out to her, his voice breaking on a sob as he fell to his knees before her. She reached out, a smile on her face, and placed her hand against his cheek. He leant into her touch and breathed in relief as her voice washed over him.

'Daddy!'


	26. Chapter 25

a/n: i'm back! hopefully the wait was worth it. this chapter is for Lorelai whose innocuous question served as a kick in the butt. enjoy!

**Chapter 25**

Spike glanced down at his cards and then back up at the other players. The perfect poker face making it impossible for the others to form any idea as to what his hand contained. He studied the demons seated around the table and the single human. He frowned and looked around again; he was feeling a huge sense of déjà vu. Had he been here before? Had he played this very game before? He frowned again as his hands played the game while his mind wandered. He was there but he wasn't. And then the game was over and Spike was claiming his winnings and the human was throwing down his lost possessions and a baby carrier with a slumbering baby girl snuggled in to the blankets.

'Hello baby girl,' Spike said with a smile. 'Gentlemen.'

With a curt nod Spike pocketed the cash and other trinkets the demons had offered up and grabbed the baby carrier. The human was long gone; Spike would leave the baby at a hospital and be back by Dru's side before dawn. He turned to leave and found his way blocked by five year old Serrah. It would be a year before he saw Dru again.

'Did you love me even then?'

'Didn't know you, bit.'

'But you kept me.'

'You were innocent, never done wrong but already been wronged.'

'Always the poet, William,' Serrah smiled and it was a wise smile that gave her the appearance of someone much older. 'You can't stay here.'

'I know.'

'Mummy needs you. I need you.'

'I don't know how to fight the magic.'

'You already are.'

Spike had nothing to say to that. Though he could see how she may be right, after all he was no longer wandering in that wasteland of despair and death. Was he fighting the warlock's power or was Serrah merely enabling his escape?

'Go back, daddy, kill them all.'

And in the basement of Nikolai's hide out Spike's eyes snapped into focus. He growled at the warlocks before him and felt small satisfaction when they flinched. He ripped the chains holding him right from the wall and launched himself at the men before him. Their power no longer affected him and the Gem kept his wounds healing. In minutes the basement was bathed in the blood of dead warlocks and Spike was once more taking to the stairs.

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'Its time to go,' Buffy announced, she was tired of waiting around and doing nothing while Giles and Wesley gathered spells that might prove useful.

'We need more time,' Angel told her simply, which was pointless because she had been watching the preparations and knew that he had done nothing for the last hour but sharpen weapons. He hadn't spoken a word to anyone in half an hour.

'Stop stalling, Angel, we leave in five minutes.'

It took them just under two hours to locate Spike. It would have taken considerably less had Angel not insisted on stopping to save three teenagers from a fate Buffy thought they deserved. She was in a bad mood and they were wandering around back alleys drunk and giggling. She didn't even bat an eye when one of them ended up receiving a hard knock to the head and she did nothing more than snort when Angel got himself in the way of her elbow.

As they approached the house, Buffy and Anya were in the lead as Angel had been banished to the rear after a particularly irritating remark. The closer they got the easier it was to hear the sounds of battle coming from inside. Buffy smiled smugly at a particularly high scream and then took a hurried step back from the door when the screamer, a bloodied warlock, was thrown toward her and the now open door. He bounced of a shield of some sort and landed with a thud at her feet just inside the door.

'Take care of the shield,' she ordered her magic experts, and stepped over the body of the unconscious warlock. She turned back once she was inside to snap his neck.

And then she threw herself into the fray.

She grabbed a vampire by the back of his shirt and tossed him behind her for Angel or one of the others to deal with. She had herself a master to find. She followed the trail of dead and bloodied bodies and found what she was looking for. Nikolai was huddled against the wall his arm a bloodied mess and Spike was in the middle of the room battling two vampires and a warlock who was still attempting to use magic against Spike. She hesitated for a moment but then moved toward Nikolai, Spike could handle himself.

'Well, well, well, what do we have here?' Buffy smiled smugly and served a kick to his injured arm. His newly reattached limb twisted to an awkward angle and Nikolai cried out.

Buffy snorted. 'And you still can't figure out why I'm with Spike?'

Nikolai glared at her and she backhanded him across the face.

'You could never be half the vampire, half the man that Spike is.'

'I love you.'

Buffy laughed. 'You don't love me, you want me because I'm unattainable, because you want to have something no other vampire has. But you screwed up, you can never have me, I have always been and I will always be Spike's. You made sure of that, we were happy with the claim, happy knowing we belonged to each other even if I would eventually grow old and die.

'I should thank you, you know, you gave me eternal life and love, you forced a demon witch, the grandmother of our child, to curse us with something so powerful that few attempt it. You gave me love not only in this life but the next and the next. I will live like this, young forever, until the day someone is strong enough to kill us and then we will be born again. We will once more live to love. You gave me that. And I would thank you if I didn't hate you so damn much.'

Buffy gripped his injured arm and gave a sharp twist and a tug, once more severing the limb. Nikolai screamed and screamed, she knocked him out just to protect her ears. When she turned around Xander was staring at her in horror, behind him Anya was helping Spike kill those who had merely been rendered unconscious by her friends and Angel. Spike stood up from the last of the unconscious, now dead, warlock and shot her a grin.

'Hello cutie.'


	27. Chapter 26

a/n: so this morning (a sunday of all days) the power company shut off the power in my neighbourhood (seriously a sunday!) and with no access to the internet i managed to get some good quality writing time until my laptop battery died. anyway...curse of immortal love is finished! the last chapter will be up on tuesday. enjoy. oh and thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers!

**Chapter 26**

Tying up Nikolai was more difficult that it would have been had he still had both arms. In the end, Xander and Angel wrapped him in ropes and tied him to a chair. The rest stood back to watch and wait for him to regain consciousness.

'What should we do with him?'

'We kill him,' Angel answered simply.

'Too easy,' Spike contradicted. 'We'll curse him.'

Buffy quirked an eyebrow, she liked where Spike was going with that. Cursing him would be much more entertaining than just killing him and it would definitely be a more fitting punishment.

'If we give you the basic gist of what we want can you word it for us?' Buffy asked Anya.

Anya nodded. 'But really think about this. If you're planning it as punishment it's going to have to be really good.'

Spike smirked. 'Oh, it's good, I've been thinking about what I wanted to do to this prat for months.'

'What are you going to wish?' Willow asked nervously, she did not in any way like the smirk Spike was giving Anya. It was way too reminiscent of the old days when Spike was doing all he could to kill Buffy.

'How about we curse him so he can never love again?' Spike suggested.

'How are you going to do that?' Angel grunted, now that all the action was over he was being forced to endure the simple little touches Buffy and Spike shared. He wanted to gag.

'We'll make it so that if he ever speaks the words to someone that someone dies and that if anyone ever speaks the words to him then he will be the cause of their death in a random but explainable fashion.'

'How the hell are you going to make that happen?' Xander laughed.

'I'm not,' Spike answered. 'Anya will word it and Buffy will say it.'

'I like it,' Anya smiled brightly. 'Very fitting. Give me a minute to get the wording right.'

That minute was quite possibly the longest minute Angel had ever bare witness to. While Wesley struck up a conversation with Giles about the magic the warlocks had been using and Cordelia chatted away with Xander about, well he wasn't quite sure what they were talking about but Cordelia was smiling, Angel was forced to watch the soft side of Spike he'd always tried so hard to ignore. Spike was on the phone with Serrah, assuring her that he was fine and thanking her for some part she apparently played in his escape. Spike was smiling and his voice was full of love.

Angel hated it.

Spike had everything he had always wanted and was just rubbing it in his face. He'd given Buffy not only the physical relationship Angel had been unable to but an emotional bond and an honest to god family. Spike had given Buffy not only a daughter to adopt and love but had managed, through a fluke of events, to knock her up. Angel had made the mistake of making a comment in passing to the only Scooby who didn't have a preconceived view of Spike (Tara) and received a nice metaphorical slap in the face for his snide comments and broody attitude. Tara had quite calmly pointed out that Angel could have had those things with Buffy if he hadn't spent a century brooding and eating rats but instead researched his curse and done something useful like making it permanent. Angel refused to think about it. He didn't like looking like a fool; it was too bad that the walk over from his place had turned him in to a walking neon sign of foolery.

'Done!' Anya announced cheerfully, breaking Angel out of a promising line of thought that involved him rescuing Buffy from a Spike gone mad, presenting her with the answer to the curse and fathering a whole bunch of her children.

Had anyone in the room been following his line of thinking they most likely would have cut off his head in disgust.

'We should probably wake him up for this,' Xander said. 'Its more dramatic if he can hear his future happiness gurgling down the drain.'

Angel almost fell over when Xander and Spike exchanged consolatory and mildly vengeful looks. That was the last straw for Angel, Xander and Spike getting along? Xander and Spike agreeing? It was in that moment Angel dedicated the next few months to finding a way to break the curse tying Buffy and Spike together.

'Wake up armless wonder,' Xander shouted, slapping Nikolai roughly across the face. It didn't take much to wake him and in an instant Nikolai was growling out profanities that were increasingly easier to ignore. 'We're cursing you,' Xander informed him brightly. 'Try not to cry.'

More profanity, some in a language Xander didn't know but had Spike and Buffy snorting. Observing this Giles made a mental note to ask Buffy what else she had learnt on her little world trip with Spike.

'This is for everything you put me through and everything you put my family through,' Spike growled

After a quick conversation with Anya, Buffy stepped forward and spoke the words of her wish so that Nikolai could not be confused by his cursed fate. He cried. And it was a good thing Anya had thought to add in a little clause to prevent him from taking his own life. He was meant to suffer and he would.

'That was a little anticlimactic.'

'Yeah, but he is going to have one very unhappy existence.'

'He deserves it.'

'Let's go home.'

Like the walk there the walk back to Angels was awkward. For Angel. He made an ass of himself threatening Spike. It wasn't until Xander, of all people, threatened to stake him if he didn't let it go that Angel shut up. He brooded sullenly for twenty one minutes before Cordelia had enough.

'It's your own fault, idiot.'

Angel didn't bother to say goodbye when the Scooby's returned to Sunnydale.

Buffy didn't bother to say goodbye either.


	28. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

'She's gone!'

Giles looked up from his book and frowned at the group of young people crowded in his doorway. He still hadn't learned to lock his door.

'Who is gone?'

'Buffy!'

Giles froze, his book falling to the table with a soft thud.

'What do you mean she's gone?'

Xander rolled his eyes. 'We went by her place to see if maybe they wanted to come by the Bronze and they were gone. Apartment bare. We called Joyce and she said that they picked up Serrah last night and she hasn't heard from them since.'

'She didn't leave a note or anything!' Willow grumped.

Giles couldn't believe that after everything, after they accepted her relationship with Spike that Buffy would still feel the need to just disappear into the night. He thought that they had repaired their relationship enough on her return that she would at least grace him with a goodbye. A little warning at least. Giles sighed.

'Perhaps she thought it best.'

'What?' Willow asked incredulously. 'For the best? Are you crazy? How is leaving your home without even a note or a goodbye for the best?'

'You would have wanted her help,' Tara spoke up. 'Maybe not intentionally but eventually you would have gone back to taking her for granted, treated her like everything was her responsibility because she's the slayer.'

'She's pregnant,' Anya added. 'She can't face Adam for you; you'll have to do that for yourselves.'

Anya and Tara had of course hit the nail on the head. They would have taken her for granted, used her to make their lives easier. It may have been unintentional but eventually it would have happened. Like Giles had suggested, maybe Buffy's leaving was for the best.

'As much as I hate to admit it, Anya and Tara are right. We will simply find another way to defeat Adam.'

'What like the new slayer,' Xander joked.

There was a stunned silence as everyone absorbed what Xander had just said.

'Yes, Xander,' Giles said with a smile. 'Like the new slayer.'

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'Will you let it go?' Cordelia yelled at Angel. 'She's gone. Left with Spike. She doesn't love you anymore and I'm beginning to understand why.'

'Cordy.'

'Don't you Cordy me!' Cordelia snapped.

Wesley sat back and watched the goings on like a spectator at a tennis match. He did of course side with Cordelia on this particular occasion but he wasn't about to say that out loud lest Angel get snippy and hit him.

'Look Angel, I get what you're trying to do but you're doing it for all the wrong reasons.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' Angel demanded.

'You're not researching your curse out of some new desire to make yourself safer, to better protect the world from Angelus. You're doing it because Spike has something you want. This isn't kindergarten Angel, making your soul permanent isn't going to change things. Spike is still going to have Buffy, he is still going to be the better choice and he is now going to have me!'

'What?' Wesley sputtered.

'I'm leaving,' Cordelia answered calmly. 'It's been a month Angel and you still haven't gotten over the fact that Buffy loves Spike and that Spike actually loves Buffy. You still haven't gotten over the fact that Spike without a soul can do a hell of a lot more good than you can with one.'

Angel glared at her but Wesley nodded in agreement.

'I work for the Powers that Be, Angel, not just you. I want to go where I can help people. I can't do that here anymore. You're so tied up in making Buffy love you that you've lost sight of everything else. I'm leaving Angel. I'm going where I can do my bit to help.'

Angel was at a loss for words so Wesley gave him something else to think about.

'I'm going with her.'

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It wasn't until a week after she had left without a word that anyone heard from Buffy. Cordelia had already turned up in Sunnydale with an ex watcher in tow and Giles had made several calls to the council seeking the help of the new slayer. Willow was studying when her laptop pinged to let her know she'd received an email.

_Will,_

_Sorry I didn't say goodbye but I thought it would be best. I can't solve all of your problems for you but I'm happy to help when I can. We're home now and back at work. Spike and Serrah say hi. Come and visit when the baby is born._

_Buffy._

Willow smiled sadly. At least now she had a way to stay in contact.

a/n: thank you to every one who reveiwed this fic. i'm thinking there might be a sequal to this but i'm not sure right now. there definitely will be a follow up one shot.


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